Inner Monologue of a Madwoman

THE BIG MOVE TO WORDPRESS!!

2009-11-05T08:24:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone! Listen, ever since I did my food blog on Wordpress, I've been sorely disappointed in the lack of blog helps on Blogger, so I've imported all of my posts and moved over there. This blog will not be updated anymore, but I will be posting over at:

http://innermonologueofamadwoman.wordpress.com

Same title, same stuff, just a MUCH better and easier format.

Also, I noticed upon importing my posts that I missed SEVERAL comments from people...I've replied to them on Wordpress and I'm reallyreally sorry about that:(.

I would also request that, if you like reading my blog, that you'd subscribe to it and/or follow me and/or add me to your blogroll. I really love blogging and want to turn it into something worthwhile, so I'm going to work diligently on that and would love to see that people are responding.

I love you guys and hope you'll all make the trek with me over to my NEW HOME !!!

Meh, Meh, Meh!! :(

2009-11-04T21:19:00.005-05:00

No good reason for the title...almost all of today was really awesome. I've just managed to get myself in a bad mood...probably because I realize that I'm not going to get my MITs list done today. I just end up getting home relatively late on Wednesday and it's hard to decide that I'm going to clean the living room when it's 8:15 and I haven't eaten dinner and promised myself that I'd do yoga tonight. I'm still going to give yoga a shot...Joey will probably go to bed at 10, so I'll try to get some time in for it then, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to get my mind into it right, so we'll see. If it's an epic failure, I'll let you know...I might have just set up unrealistic expectations on myself for today, so I might not bother with it and will just do some in the morning.

Mommy, srsly...quit taking pictures of me...

Foodwise, it was a good day; I made an awesome breakfast...I did 1 egg plus two whites scrambled with onions, peppers, and diced tomatoes and topped with about 1 TBSP of cheddar cheese, eaten in romaine lettuce wrappers:). I did the same thing with veggie stir-fry last night and I think I'm really liking the romaine as a venue for my eats. It's healthier than anything carby and gives a nice crunch.

I wasn't feeling anything prepared for lunch, so I just took a bunch of fresh veggies and Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus (yum), a banana, and some salad that I ended up eating at Caribou with Mom and Dad...

Dinner was pretty simple...1 cup brown rice with 2 TBSP cheddar and some hot sauce, together with a little microwaved cabbage with 1 tsp EVOO, s&p and a little rice wine vinegar. I love cooked cabbage!!

So, I guess you'll find out tomorrow whether or not I tried the yoga tonight or in the morning...either way, I'm going to give it a try!

November Challenge: Back on Track Month!

2009-11-03T20:31:00.007-05:00

Here's a shot of the Babykins:)

Skulls and Scorpions bring joy to my day:)

I woke today feeling pretty refreshed, surprisingly; showering in the evening seems to work better for me as it gives me extra time in the morning and I don't feel quite so rushed. Now, if I could just get in the habit of pre-packing my lunch and laying out my clothes, I'd be in business!

Today was my first conscious foray back into the world of dairy (actually, it was last night, but apparently it wasn't conscious since it didn't occur to me until after I'd typed the previous sentence...). I had an omelet made with 1 egg and 1 white, diced green peppers, and a veggie dog. It was soooo good! I'm still trying to figure out how to reconcile eggs and dairy with my ethical beliefs about the egg and dairy industries....it may take a while.

I was already planning to do this, but since Caitlin over at Healthy Tipping Point already gave it a name, I will be participating along with others in her Back on Track Month. Basically, we're just taking the month of November to refocus and get back on the healthy eating/exercise/stress management bandwagon. After seeing how much better I felt after the Challenge last week, I was ready for a month of "clean living" to gear up for the holidays!

This month, I'm going to seek to do the following:

Get to the gym three times per week. This shouldn't be trouble...Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday are pretty open for me since I gave up the band.
Yoga twice a week...this is something I've been wanting to try for a while.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator every day. I only travel upstairs/downstairs two or three times per day anyway, so I'll climb the stairs from now on.
Drink 8 glasses of water every day. I've been slacking here because of how much we've had to do at work. It's good for my general health and to prevent kidney stones!
Eat whole, real food, not processed food.
Reduce junk food consumption (chocolate, chips, pasta, "white" grains, calorie-laden beverages, etc).

I'm really excited about starting yoga. I've wanted to so badly since I started reading Heather's blog, and when Angela posted about it today, I couldn't resist. I printed the guide from Yo ga Download that she referenced and plan to give it a try tomorrow since I won't be able to hit the gym.

In case you haven't noticed, I've shifted to writing more about food and fitness; I'm trying to focus the blog more toward things about which I'm pretty passionate. I made a list in my mind and came up with:

Shelli
Healthy Living
Frugality
Knitting

So, that's where I'm going right now...it could change at the drop of a hat, I guess, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to offer some insight and info!

By the way, check out my articles on Post-Halloween Sales and the joy of Pumpkin Seeds!!

Vegan Challenge in Review and upcoming November Challenges...

2009-11-02T20:35:00.002-05:00

How about a little snowy eye candy for you? As long as the office is closed so that I don't have to drive in it, I love weather like this. Everything looks so pristine and silent when you wake up in the morning and look out across the white blanket of snow. It's the perfect morning for warm coffee and a good, hearty, home-cooked breakfast.

So, I went MIA for a few days, which I was expecting because of the big project that I had to do, but it's done and all is well! So, I finished the week out at about 95% vegan. Some of my non-vegan indiscretions included: 1 cookie, a few pieces of chocolate Halloween candy, 2 marshmallows, and maybe 4 individual serving containers of non-dairy creamer (which contains a milk derivative).

What did I learn? First, I don't need cheese to enjoy food. I love cheese...so much so that I could have it at every meal, but going a week without it made me realize that it's really not that important. Next, dairy makes me feel worse, not better. I can definitely tell you that my stomach has been less upset this week that I went vegan. And, I lost three pounds also!

Would I go vegan 100%? Probably not at this point...as far as my religious reasons for vegetarianism go, I don't believe that veganism was necessarily prescribed by God originally, so I don't feel obligated in that way. However, I'm pretty deeply convicted about factory farming and the cruelties that are done in the dairy and egg industry, so I suppose I'll have to find a way for my ethics to meet with my purchases...perhaps finding someone who has chickens that I know treats them well? Or maybe trying to buy milk at a farmer's market or looking into which brands treat their cows well?

What's important, though, is that it's a learning process; if I didn't learn anything other than the fact that cheese is not a necessity to make food better, then the week was worth it. That's one more lesson that will keep me on the path of eating whole, clean, nutritious food, avoiding processed "junk" and enjoying what God gave us to enjoy.

Yay for Joey and me...we hit the gym tonight after work! Step one down:)...now just to go back tomorrow and we'll be on the way to starting a habit!

Stay tuned tomorrow for information about my upcoming challenge for November!

Wordless...Thursday

2009-10-29T22:42:00.003-04:00

Vegan Challenge was less fun today, but still going along. Here are some pics from the day:

Spooooky...mine is the scary one:)

Roasted Pumpkin seeds:

Psychadelic kins. We tried to make her go to rehab, but she said, "no, no no."

Operation Temptation Resistance (and a little knitting)

2009-10-28T20:50:00.004-04:00

Hi guys! I almost didn't post tonight; I'm pretty exhausted. I was doing fine today until I read a blog that someone posted about a cat they'd lost recently and put a very sweet poem at the bottom. It made me think of Puss and I ended up crying the whole way home, so by the time I got to the house, I just wanted to rest.

Dinner was Chinese takeout tonight...don't fear, though...I did my research and found out that General Tso's sauce is vegan, so I got General Tso's tofu. It came with broccoli and white rice. I may or may not have had a couple of Utz reduced-fat potato chips too....and now some coffee with soymilk (which I am currently drinking).

So, how did I manage to keep myself mindful of my Vegan Challenge today in the face of all of the wonderful treats and goodies? Check it out:

This morning, after I had about 1 tbsp of peanut butter, I took a nice ink pen and drew the word "vegan" on my wrist. It worked like a charm, and got a couple of comments, too. Someone actually thought it was a real tattoo...hehe.

I had a 100 calorie popcorn ball at work that my friend gave me; I checked the ingredients and it qualified, and I also discovered that Ruffles potato chips are vegan, so I had a few of those...skipped my oatmeal, though, because of the other stuff.

How about some real knitting content finally? I'm working on a Cowl from an easy pattern that I found on Ravelry...it's got a very simple quasi-lace pattern (I don't know if it's lacey enough to qualify as "real" lace, but I'll take it!)

Like that it's on top of my MITs list? MITs stands for "Most Important Things." It's my relatively short list of things that I need to get done today. I think that this may finally be the day that I get it all done! Anyway, here's a closer shot of the knitting:

It's a simple pattern, just a yarn over, slip one, knit one, pass slipped stitch over, and knit one. Not tough and really pretty:)

Now for the treats that I had to resist today....isn't this the most adorable cake you've ever seen? My friend Erin made it...she's for hire, so if you're looking for an event cake, let me know and I'll get you in contact with her!

Check out the rest of the table of goodies...there were chips and tortilla chips, two kinds of dip, brownies, cookies, and cupcakes.

I had a salad with some homemade tamari dressing (1 packet soy sauce, a splash of red wine vinegar, and a drizzle of tamari), which I think needs some tweaking. I'll be working on that in the morning.

Lunch was processed, but vegan....Trader Joe's rice noodle soup bowl...the spring onion flavor. It's instant and salty and wonderful...I knew I'd need a favorite if I was going to let the cake pass me by. I had some hummus/cabbage and 1/2 an apple for a snack.

There's been a ton of schoolwork this week...I got what I needed to done...got one more thing due Friday, which I'll get done tomorrow.

No Shelli pic tonight...I need to take some more. She's been a little antisocial tonight.

Epic Dinner Win!

2009-10-27T19:13:00.004-04:00

First, join Joey and me for our Frugal Challenge: No-Heat November! I know it sounds crazy, but we've done it for the last two years (actually, we leave the thermostat set no higher than 62 all winter long), and neither of us have gotten frostbite or hypothermia. It's a great way to save on your electric or natural gas bill!

Food-wise, the entire day has been an epic win! Breakfast Part 1 (I always divide breakfast into two halves) was some chopped cabbage and Sabra hummus...followed by a travel mug of coffee and soymilk.

At about 10 am, I had 1/2 cup oatmeal with 2 TBSP Jif Natural PB (which is sweetened with molasses, which is definitely vegan)

And lunch, my friends, was this:

A GIGANTIC salad with Romaine Mix, cabbage, black beans, and the rest of the pico de gallo that I got on Sunday. No dressing, just pico-y goodness:).

I had a serving of raw almonds for my afternoon snack, but was DYING for some candy around 3. EMSI came by the office and dropped off Halloween treat bags for us, which had a Reese's cup and a mini-tootsie roll (both definitely not vegan) and a small pack of Twizzlers. Thanks to VegNews and their listing of Vegan Halloween Candies, I found out that the Twizzlers were vegan and I tore into them!

We hit Trader Joe's on the way home so I could stock up on tempeh, tofu, and hummus, and then hit the Teeter because I had to get a treat for our office's Halloween Snack Party tomorrow (which I found out about this afternoon). This one's going to be a huge test for me; I'm relatively sure that nothing is going to be dairy/egg/animal product free, so it looks like I'm going to be staring at everyone while they chow down. I've come up with a pretty good way to remind myself to resist the treats, though, which I'll share with you guys tomorrow. I got some tahini at the Teeter too...expensive, it was, $8.50 for 1 lb, which in our house is obscene, so I'll have to use it up. thankfully, Heather did a whole week on the stuff, so I should be all set with ideas!

Which brings me to my EPIC dinner win:)...I was reading The Fitnessista today and saw that she'd done something pretty unconventional with her sweet potato. It looked pretty good, so tonight I took two small sweet potatoes and "baked" them in the microwave. The first, I topped with 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce (I had Wal-Mart Garden Veggie Sauce), some nutritional yeast, garlic and onion powder, crushed red pepper flake, and a little cayenne. Holy cow was this incredible! I will absolutely be doing this again, and often. On the second, I put a little ketchup, hot sauce, cayenne, garlic and onion powder, and crushed pepper flake...it wasn't as good, but I'd used up the last of the spaghetti sauce. Gina, if for no other reason than this recipe, I love your blog (but I loved it anyway, so I guess that's kind of irrelevant)!!

Shelli got into the "special 'nip" last night....

Paper-Writing Monday, Vegan Challenge Day Two

2009-10-26T19:31:00.003-04:00

Good Evening, bloggity blog folks:). Today has been better than the typical Monday and for that, I am extremely grateful. I was really overwhelmed today about the amount of schoolwork I've got this week (mostly because I procrastinated too much), but after finishing up my paper before lunch was over today, I felt much better about the potential that I'll finish the week without having a nervous breakdown.

So, in keeping with the spirit of my Vegan Challenge Week in honor of World Vegan Day on November First, I had 2 tbsp of peanut butter at home before I left for work, a travel mug of coffee and soymilk, and then 1/2 cup oatmeal with salt and pepper around 10 am.

For lunch, I had this:
Yep! Last night's Potato-Veggie Soup (recipe can be found HERE). It's thick and hearty and warm, and I added a TON Of pepper, so it was nice and spicy too.

To celebrate after finishing my paper and getting my work-work done for the day, I had this apple:

I know...it's so freaking huge...this was one of the Mutsu apples that we got at the apple picking festival in Waynesville last weekend while we were camping.

Dinner was some angel hair pasta and garden veggie spaghetti sauce with tons of garlic powder and a little nutritional yeast.

Check out this post from Vegan Soapbox. Yes, I know what everyone says about statistics, and, for the most part, I agree. However, it's hard to deny that it does require a huge amount of food and energy to raise animals for human consumption. It takes far less energy to avoid the "middle man" (or "middle meat," perhaps) and eat a plant-based diet. Veganism is a way to tread lightly on the earth.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be low-key as well. I'll have schoolwork to do, but hopefully Joey will be further along with his paper and we'll be able to relax and watch a little NCIS!

For your viewing pleasure, look at that little pouty face!!

Vegan Challenge: Day 1

2009-10-25T22:16:00.004-04:00

Nope, no sushi today...I WISH I'd had vegan sushi today! I didn't take any pics of what I ate today because I was never in a position for the lighting to be good enough for the pic to work. But, today was a successful day, and it made me feel like this vegan challenge is going to work out just fine!

Breakfast was 1 cup of brown rice and some hot sauce, and a travel mug of coffee with soy milk.
Lunch was, as always, at the nasty ol' Captain's Galley, where I got a side salad and a baked potato. We'd stopped at Wal-Mart beforehand, and I got some Sabra Roasted Red Pepper hummus and some pico de gallo, so I put both of those on my salad and potato (no dressing on the salad and the croutons removed). It actually made the CG food edible! I think I've discovered a combo that's a winner!

We napped after that because Joey had a really late night working on his paper (I intended to work on mine this afternoon, so it was quite the bummer to have slept the whole time). But dinner was a definite win! I made Potato-Veggie Soup with Cabbage, which was FANTASTIC (the success of the dish was probably directly proportional to the amount of garlic I added to the soup)! I used a little soymilk to make it creamy, and it was thick and warm and delicious. I'll post the recipe soon...hopefully I can get a decent picture of it at work tomorrow.

So, it was a food success today; I was a little tempted by the cheese tonight that Joey and Cory put on their soup, I'm not going to lie, but I sprinkled a little nutritional yeast on mine and was perfectly content. It's nice to know that there can be a life out there without cheese.

This weekend has been such a whirlwind; I can't believe that it's about to be Monday again and back to the grind! Also, I started Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food yesterday and it's really excellent...very eye opening. He's got lots of facts and presents a pretty stark indictment of food processors/corporations and the government in making people's diets about "nutrients" only and not in the least about "real, whole foods." Something that I've been coming to realize especially over the summer after having read all of these health/fitness/food blogs is that we've gotten so far away from real foods that we don't know how to exist anymore in a world that's not prepackaged and microwave-ready in ninety seconds.

Almost hands-down, in all of the blogs that I'm currently reading about the above topics, the writers have lost weight and maintain their health, not by sucking down vitamins and supplement powders left and right, and not by eating nutrition bars and power-drinks, but by eating real whole foods. I really believe that it's something to which we need to return if we don't want to screw up our childrens' generation just like we are.

At any rate...that's enough thought-provoking stuff for the night. I'm going to turn in. Hope everyone survives their Monday!

Gun Show, Nap-kins, Vegan Challenge Kick-Off!

2009-10-24T22:56:00.003-04:00

That's my little kins:)...except this afternoon, apparently she had to be exiled into her room during our nap because she was being too rambunctious. But, mostly, when we're in the bed, she's there too, as evidenced by the above picture that Joey took without my knowledge or permission.

Man, today was busybusybusy...we went to breakfast with my parents, went to the Dixie Gun and Knife Show, which is always super-crowded, worked on school stuff, and had dinner tonight with some friends.

The gun show was lots of fun; we got some stuff, and we saw lots of neat firearms and other self-protection items. I was looking for an old olive-drab messenger bag at the booths with old army/navy surplus stuff, but it didn't look like any place had any. It was wall-to-wall people at any of the booths that had handguns, which is normal, so we had to weave our way through and muscle in so that we could look at things.

I've gotten my discussion posts done and now just have a paper due Monday...next week is mine and another girl's week to lead the discussion for our reading in Ethnic American Lit, so it's going to be busy on that front, too.

Tomorrow begins Mel's Vegan Challenge week in honor of World Vegan Day!! I'm going to make cabbage and potato soup tomorrow night that we'll have for dinner during a night of football and FUN!

Pursuit of Dreams...

2009-10-22T19:59:00.003-04:00

Check out this guy's tent, eh? We called it the Taj-ma-tent while we were camping. It was incredible...the last day of our trip we talked to him and got to go in and see the inside. He had a wood stove and the tent was very balmy and wonderful.

The tent's resident is a photographer named Mike Florey. He told us that he was going to be at Moonshine Creek through the end of October and was going to go home and then head out to the Ozarks. Mike is a photographer...an incredible photographer. I wish he had a website so I could refer you to it to see his stuff, but he had too much trouble with people stealing his work. So, suffice it to say, if you're out looking for beautiful art to put on your walls, check and see if Mike Florey is the photographer and buy it if so!

Mike travels over the country and pretty much lives in that tent. He's weathered 50 knot winds in it and total whiteout conditions. Sounds crazy? Maybe, but what really struck me upon listening to him is the realization that he is really living his dreams. His dreams have him living mostly in a tent in freezing weather, but he loves it, and he wasn't afraid to pursue it. Incredible, eh? He was also just an all-around really nice guy, which made me even happier about his being so happy in his life.

Today was pretty rough...I don't know...it seems like I say that a lot, so I should probably just stop;). I'm getting there, though. Things are coming together in my mind and forming into these awesome ideas and, for once, I really do believe that I can achieve what I've set out to achieve! I have a lot of these feelings that I owe to Angela and Heather. Both of them made some pretty big life changes that have been very positive and, because they've shared their respective journeys, people like me can read and learn. It also helps that they're my age...that way I can see that it's still possible:).

Here's a little kitty pron for your enjoyment:)

Savory Oats...

2009-10-21T21:17:00.004-04:00

Doesn't look half bad, does it? I vascillate between wanting sweet items and savory ones for breakfast, but I don't like to include grits too often (even though I love them) because they're basically devoid of nutrients. Enter Oatmeal. Believe it or not, you can really eat it with savory seasonings and it's just as good as with sweet! This morning, I added an egg (microwave scrambled), salt and pepper, and a packet of ketchup (I know, not really natural or healthy), but I've been known just to have it with S&P too. It's so easy...just add about 3/4 cup hot water to the oats and let them soak the water in, and you're good to go. No need to dirty a pot or microwave it and have an explosion that you'll have to clean up later;).

So, I was looking for recipes for next week's Vegan Challenge and I came across this Southwestern Cabbage Soup that looks insanely good...I'm thinking that I'll make this Monday as I've got the ingredients already...a big pot will give me plenty to eat for lunches during the week!

On a non-blog related note, I'd really appreciate if you guys would hit up my Examiner website if you haven't already been. I write about Frugal Living, and while sometimes the articles over there mirror what I'm taking about over here at Inner Monologue of a Madwoman, there are plenty of articles that are totally unrelated. And, come on, everyone can use a little advice about saving money these days, eh??

Today was pretty good; I got some major headway made on my cowl during choir tonight, which is great, because I want to get it done as soon as I can so I can decide whether or not to make another to give as Christmas gifts. Since I'm trying to do a totally handmade Christmas this year, I'm needing to get on the stick with that now!

And, I'm not going to talk about it too much yet because the idea just hit me on the way to choir tonight, but I think I'm starting to stumble upon one of the things I'm supposed to do in life...a way to advocate for animals and show that animal advocacy and Christianity do not have to be mutually exclusive. Just say a prayer for me as I mull things over and try to get a plan into action.

Good night, folks =^-_-^=

Mel's Vegan Challenge!

2009-10-20T19:47:00.004-04:00

Hello, bloggies! We're hanging in there in Weaver-ville...I got my assignments done (turned my Sherman Alexie paper in just about an hour ago). Joey, however, has a lot more to do which, apparently has led him to tell me that he isn't going to be pleasant to be around for the next ten days or so. So, I guess my time will be spent writing, reading, and hanging out on the web, trying to stay out of his hair. I hate these times for him...all of his papers are so huge (which stands in stark contrast with my five-to-ten page papers) and require so much research and insight. It takes a lot out of him. But, I'm proud of my super-smart PhD man (and now, wilderness man).

As most of you probably don't know, November 1st is World Vegan Day, and is generally filled with pleas from animal rights groups asking that people give veganism a chance for just that one day. While I don't necessarily think from my reading of Genesis 1:29-30 that veganism was prescribed, I do deal frequently with wanting to be vegan just because I see it as the natural end of vegetarianism. No, I'm not throwing out all of my shoes and purses and setting Shelli free (not all vegans believe that we shouldn't even own animals, but some do). But I will be doing my part to promote World Vegan Day through next week's personal challenge:

I'm going to take the next week (starting Sunday, 10/25) and am going to adhere to the principles of veganism (no eggs, dairy, or honey) through World Vegan Day (11/1). I'll spend this week picking out recipes and meal ideas so there will be no boredom in the Weaver house!

I've read so many good things from people who've given up dairy; since dairy increases mucuous production, it's really not a singer's best friend, and most people are actually mildly lactose intolerant (at least), so I'll be very interested to see what kinds of changes I feel by not dealing with its effects.

Join me? Join me!!

Our Freezing Weekend of Camping Fun!

2009-10-19T18:48:00.004-04:00

So, rather than doing an uber-long post about the camping trip, I'll post some photos and then do a little list-style synopsis at the end...

Shannon in the tent, very shortly after we got it set up.

A Veggie Parmesan sub from the Smoky Mountain Sub Shop. We stopped there while we were enjoying Waynesville's Apple Festival.

Joey, making a stilly face while cooking chili and keeping an eye on our coffee...

Shannon, warming by the fire at breakfast Sunday morning

Moonshine Creek, which smelled a little like sewage...

We will not be going back to Moonshine Creek. The staff was really nice, but the sites were too close together and we originally had a site where we would have had to carry everything by HAND across the creek (no car access). That would have been unfortunate since we had 1/2 a truck bed full of firewood. We got our site changed, thankfully. The campground was also really small. But the bathrooms were clean.
Every meal, save for the one that we ate out, was cooked over an open fire. Joey was an AWESOME cook!!
It was 37 when we woke up Saturday. The high was 48. It was 31 when we woke up Sunday.
It sleeted on Saturday night.
Electric blankets in the tent are the BEST IDEA EVER.
Camping without James is noticeably quieter at night. Enough Said.
It's hard to knit while bundled up like an eskimo.
Mountain people are strange.
Senior Citizen cloggers ROCK!!
Men + Fire = singing hair off something.
Watching a group of kids from App standing in the dark freezing because they didn't know what they were doing was a riot.

That's all I can think of for now. It was a good weekend. Even with the freezing temps and sleet, I wish I was still there.

Jumble of Thoughts...

2009-10-14T21:05:00.003-04:00

Today was a good day. My dentist appointment went really well (as usual). I wasn't expecting it not to, but it's always comforting to know that I'm doing well on the oral hygeine front. They actually changed my scheduling so that I'll only have to have the xrays every 18 months rather than every year:).

Had breakfast with Mom and hung out there for a long time! There's nothing like drinking copious amounts of coffee and laughing loudly and unceremoniously in a restaurant full of old people and a grumpy manager;). Mom is so my best friend. Dad too. I'm pretty freaking blessed with my parents.

I had lunch at Eastland Mall with Mom and her best friend Bobbie; I purposefully schedule my dentist appointments on Wednesdays so that I can have lunch with them two or three times a year. I found a new knitting pattern to work on while I was there; it's a lacework cowl, but I like the pattern so much that I'm toying with making it into a scarf. I've never made a successful cowl, though. I'm using a really deep greyish teal worsted weight yarn and size 7 needles. It's not knit in the round, but is knit flat and then seamed at the end with some kind of bind-off method I've never tried before. Looks like I'll be hitting up the Knitting Help website soon!

Tomorrow's going to be pretty hectic; I ended up spending most of the night tonight finishing up Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison...good book. It was a little more crass than what I generally like to read, but I think that the message was pretty incredible. And, as usual, I had to have the obligatory cry-fest because it seems that nothing that we read in grad school has a traditionally happy ending. At any rate, tomorrow will now be the day that we do the rest of what we need to for the camping trip.

So, all of this stuff today has left me with a jumble of thoughts and emotions, trying to figure out where I am now and where I'm supposed to be, and whether that's going to involve writing, or music, or frugality and preparedness, or animal rights (from the Christian perspective) or Christian vegetarianism, or all of the above.....I have to believe that all of the restlessness of spirit that I've been having lately is more than just a sign of being mildly disillusioned with my current life position. It has to have been more than that. Otherwise, I think that it would have ebbed by now and I would have fallen back into my normal routine of thought patterns. Something's there. I've just got to seek it out, or wait it out, or whatever. It's funny how, with God, lots of times you don't know whether to do one or the other, or whether you need to figure out how to do both at the same time.

Ok, God, It's Your Turn...Seriously....

2009-10-12T19:03:00.003-04:00

Doesn't it just look like it'll go on forever? It was so amazing standing at the overlook gazing across Cold Mountain back in July. We are camping this weekend, but unfortunately, a cold snap is coming, so it looks like it's going to be a pretty chilly weekend to be in a tent. We should be fine though...got our long johns and fuzzy sleeping bags, and we'll make sure that we have extra blankets. And we have plenty of firewood!!

Today was not a very good day; I'm not going to lie. I had a very encouraging evening after I spent lots of time Saturday night mapping out things that I can do now to work toward my passions and dreams, and I was able to hold onto that despite the drama from yesterday, but today really took away my joy. My life isn't falling apart or anything, but I'd managed to work through something and be at peace only to have it upheaved again and now I'm left looking to the sky trying to figure out what God's trying to show me.

Anyway...enough of that. I should be back in Frugal Living Examiner mode within the next couple of days. I have some good story ideas that hit me during my "car time" (which was pretty cold) today.

OH!! And I've got both the front and back knitted up on the sweater, so I just need to seam the top and then pick up stitches for the sleeves!! Gigantic purple bag sweater, here I come!!

That's all I've got tonight. I've got to get going on Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon...I may or may not have slacked off a little since nothing was due last week;)

Tired Blog...

2009-10-11T23:43:00.002-04:00

Man, it's been a long (but pretty good) day. Our Life Group fellowship almost didn't happen, between the combo of the overcast skies and a large group that had the picnic shelter filled, we didn't even think we'd be able to have it in the park, and to top it off, Joey thought he'd bought match-light charcoal, which didn't prove to be the case after he used an entire bottle of lighter fluid and the charcoal still wouldn't hold a flame. It was a dramatic situation.

Cory was nice enough to make a special, smaller pot of chli without meat, which i thought was very sweet of him. I knew that "pickins'" would likely be pretty slim because we were focusing on hamburgers and hot dogs, but I did end up having something tasty to eat.

Then, we gathered at our house for a night of football since we've got a crowd of Colts fans in our life these days.

I'm starting to lose consciousness while blogging, so this'll have to be it for the night.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend...

2009-10-10T20:20:00.002-04:00

One of the falls in Brevard, NC

Man, what a week. It started out pretty well, but rapidly got very busy. I sang at a funeral today for my old boss (from my WW days)'s husband, who also happens to be my former pastor's dad and my best friend from high school/college's grandpa. It was pretty tough, but I was honored to be asked, but it also made for a long and very emotionally draining day.

Next weekend, however, Joey, Shannon, and I are going camping in Balsam, NC, up in the mountains. I cannot WAIT...hopefully the leaves will be pretty when we get up there...I'm also hoping that it's crisp, but not TOO cold. Joey got two stacks of firewood today, so we should be set for the trip. We still need to season our cast-iron cookware and get the rest of our food. Really, I need to just make a list tonight or tomorrow morning so we don't leave anything out.

Also have two assignments due before we leave, so I'll be working like crazy this week to get that done. Wednesday, I'm off for my dentist appointment; I have to work Thursday (to make up for one of the days I missed during the kidney stone saga).

Have you ever felt kind of lost in trying to put your finger on exactly what it is that you're passionate about? I know that I'm passionate about animal rights and especially on the unnecessary death of shelter animals (cats in particular). I know that I need to try to figure out how to get into helping with that, you know, but I'm afraid. I'm pretty sure that helping out with those organizations is going to involve a lot of saying "goodbye" and grieving over animals, but I'm starting to feel like, if it's something that I really care about, then maybe I should be willing to feel the pain to help bring about change. I don't know. But I know that I'm going to need to start taking the necessary steps to pursue something because I can't stay in the same place, because I'm not exactly happy here. And I think it's one of those situations where, if I'm feeling so restless and dissatisfied, then God is probably trying to tell me something and it would be wise for me to listen. So, that's what I'm going....lay it on me, God....

I've been reading Angela's and Heather's blogs lately (well, I've really been reading both since May of this year), and they've offered a lot of insight on the topics of personal satisfaction, pursuing dreams, finding methods/styles that work for you and not being so concerned about doing things "this way," or "that way," because that's what everyone else is doing. So, I'm starting to feel that, little by little, God is giving me these small, quiet messages through people like them to encourage me that dreams and passions are worth pursuing. More on all of that later, I'm sure.

So, that's where I am on this lovely evening...tomorrow is church and then our SS fellowship at Stallings Park (per Tara Lane, it's not going to rain later tomorrow afternoon!), so while tomorrow will be busy too, I don't think it'll be too bad.

Miscellany...

2009-10-09T18:42:00.003-04:00

A green smoothie in the awesome shaker cup that the folks at Amazing Grass sent me (along with samples of their products). This one had spinach, banana, pineapple, and some Amazing Grass meal (a protein and vitamin/greens supplement). Not too shabby...not great on its own, but not bad in a smoothie.

So, I'm definitely in a better state of mind than I was the other night...which is normal. We all have bad days every now and then and that day, I just let things get to me too much....today, I'm back on the proverbial horse!

So, we are watching Jeopardy and relaxing!

Tomorrow's Gonna be Another Day....

2009-10-08T09:19:00.003-04:00

First, a disclaimer: this blog post is not intended to be whiny or a plea for sympathy or pity. To be quite honest, I'd rather you despise me than pity me as ultimately, I feel like we are where we are supposed to be in life regarding the choices we've made and our current place. But, I also think it's important to be transparent; one of the things I value most about this blog is that I've been very honest up to this point, and I haven't really shied away from the things I want to talk about, and I'm not going to start that now.

One of the most frustrating things about our current lifestyle is the feeling that we're always a step behind other people our age. While most of the people we know our age are married, two income families (or the husband makes enough that the wife can stay home), we are working with one income. Others have moved into (or built) their own two and three thousand square foot homes, while we opted for one that's only eleven hundred so that we'd be sure to be able to afford it easily. Others are having kids while we know that's not going to be a reality for us for some time. We're not ready. And I cannot tell you the amount of times that I've heard, "if you wait until you're ready, you never will be," like for some reason, that's supposed to encourage us to make an irresponsible decision. I really believe that it's absolutely crucial to realize when you're not emotionally ready for children and/or to realize that your current way of life would make having kids an irresponsible decision. A household with two full-time students who are also working is no place for a dog, much less a child. Additionally, my anxiety isn't fully controlled, so I can't even fathom the possibility of going back to a lifestyle of being terrified for nine months (because I'm sure I would have to go off my meds). So, when we get to the point when kids are going to be a reality, other people our age will already have older children, we'll be older parents and will have trouble relating to other parents with similarly aged children.

It's tough to try to explain to people why we don't go places, don't eat out frequently, don't do things that cost much money, why we leave our thermostat set to 80 in the summer and 60 in the winter, why we leave the lights off if at all possible, why we "save a flush," why we drive a car that is twenty years old and was gifted to us, why I (almost) only buy second-hand clothes, why brand-name is a rarity in our house, why our monthly gasoline and grocery budget combined is only $450, why I wash plastic spoons and forks, and why we only have twenty channels.

Would we do these things even if we did have money? Probably. Because I know that, as a general rule, as income increases, so also increases one's lifestyle to match. I don't ever want to get in that pattern. I want to be free...free to stay home to take care of our kids if I want to, free to pursue a dream, free to be free of corporate America. I don't want to live a life where we have two new cars and a big home, but I have to climb the corporate ladder to be able to afford it. That, my friends, is a prison all of its own.

However, if we had more money, I would buy organic produce and fair trade goods. I would buy eggs from a local farm, somewhere where I know that male chicks weren't thrown into a grinder alive and hens weren't forced into battery cages without being able to move. I would give money to animal rights organizations. Hell, I might even create my own Christian-based animal rights organization. I would set up a cat rescue. I would join a yoga studio. I wouldn't feel supremely guilty when we do our once-weekly Chinese takeout meal. I would pay twice what our mortgage payment currently is so that we can pay it off faster. I would opt to pay Joey's tuition out-of-pocket. I wouldn't be terrified when my tuition bill comes due each semester just because we are paying mine out-of-pocket.

I don't really think that these things are unreasonable, but they're just not a possibility for us right now. And sometimes, it pisses me off. Sometimes, I look at the people who eat out three or four times a week and buy every technological gadget that comes along and I'm resentful. Do I begrudge them their purchases? Not really. I think that there are probably more useful ways that they could be spending their money, but I don't hate them for what they have. But sometimes, I do wonder why we struggle when other people quite obviously don't have to.

Do I think it's because we've done something terrible and God is pissed at us? In my weaker moments, yes, I do. I'm not going to lie. Do I sometimes feel like God doesn't really care? Yep to that one too. And before you leave me comments to tell me that I'm wrong, be aware that I know that. But I also think that it's pointless to lie to God...He knows what you're thinking anyway, so you can't really feed Him a line of bull unless you're just trying to make yourself feel holy, which is a waste of time.

In my heart, I know that we're called to a specific purpose. Since Joey and I have been together, we've both known that our calling was in the world of academia. We knew that it would be a hard and expensive journey, and we knew that we were going to have to live a life where we sacrifice the best material things so that we could pay for our tuition. We knew that it was something that would pay off later, if not monetarily, then at least in our feeling that we were doing something worthwhile, that we were helping people and making a difference. We knew that it wasn't going to be easy.

But last night, I had a hard night. After fixing yet another meal of brown rice, I got angry. Today has been better; today, I've regained focus. I don't think that God hates us, and I know that He cares. And I know that my attitude simply needed an adjustment, from ambivalence to gratitude. I'm in gratitude mode today, and it feels much better.

That's all I've got.

Silence is Golden....

2009-10-06T19:40:00.003-04:00

I never appreciated how wonderful silence is until I ended up in a lifestyle where I almost NEVER have any. I can't imagine what it'll be like if/when we have children. I thrive on it...especially now that I'm in recovery from depression/anxiety. When I was at my worst, silence was terrifying, because it allowed all kinds of awful fears and "what if" scenarios to creep into my mind, things which I couldn't get out of my head, no matter what I tried. TV was always a good escape as it kept my mind from roaming too far, but I couldn't bear to be alone with my own thoughts. Now, I can really appreciate the silence without fear; I can sit alone in my car at lunch without the radio on and just the whisper of the fan blowing cool air on me and knit and think about things I want to do, goals that I have, and things I need to change without the constant, nagging fear that I'm dying of cancer or something horriffic like that. It's times like those when I really DO feel like the year of treatment has been worthwhile.

So, remember my comment yesterday that the b-nut squash isn't so good roasted in bigger chunks? It was waaay too soggy and really had a "squashy" taste rather than a sweet taste (like a sweet potato). I really didn't know what to do; I only ate about 1/3 of the squash yesterday. Joey forced some down and I put the rest in the fridge. So, I thought that I'd try adding it to oats and see if it improved any. Today, I packed some dry rolled oats (3/4 cup) with ground cinnamon, allspice, and cloves. I added some hot water (probably just 1 cup) and the (peeled) roasted b-nut. I also dumped in a couple of packets of Sugar in the Raw (not ideal, but it was the most natural option). The end result?

It may look a little weird, but it was actually pretty good. The squash was more pumpkin-y rather than squash-y, and it was really filling and satisfying. Now, I have two ways to eat the rest of my b-nut squashes:).

Then, at 1, I commenced "car-time." I didn't know if I'd feel like napping, so I took my knitting with me. I've finished the front, and so I needed to go back and knit the 8 inches up the back before seaming the top and then picking up for the sleeves. I got maybe five rows done and then tired of it and put it away. I'll probably work on it some more tonight, though!

Then, "car-knit" time turned into "car-book" time. I started on this:

It's our next assignment for Ethnic American Lit. It looks like it's going to shape up to be a good read. I read the first few pages, and then got tired, so I laid back with about 30 minutes left and had a little nap. I really do cherish that time to not be bothered. I think that, when it gets too cold to stay in the car, I'll probably have to save up so I can walk across to Caribou and sit in there for a while. It's just so nice to remind myself that there really is a world outside of the office, that beautiful things still happen and that the world is still turning out there. When you're in a cubicle all day, it's so easy to lose sight of that; you live by the clock, and without the ability to see much out a window, it's difficult to really get a grasp on the progression of the day. Sometimes I really wonder about American Society and the ideals that it has instilled in people.

Monday Night Randomness...

2009-10-05T20:49:00.003-04:00

No knitting today...I may knit a few rows before I go to bed, because I really don't want to let a day go by without working on it. My car-nap was only so-so today, so I think I probably would have been better off staying at my desk and knitting. It was chilly, which was nice, but some people in an SUV parked right next to me in one of the handicapped spots and people piled out talking at what seemed like the top of their lungs. Additionally, I'm parked under a tree on the side of the building...there's PLENTY of room, but people ALWAYS feel the need to walk up right by my car. Blah.

Anyway, I was going through my pics and found some randomness that I thought you may enjoy...

The perfect lunch....thai-style noodle soup and a good book. This was from my summer session in Native American Lit. I definitely recommend this book if you get a chance to read it, Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko.

The perfect way to spend a weekend, watching Crow, Mike, and Servo riff on some pieces of cinematic tripe:)

Shelli has aspirations of becoming a vegetarian....I don't think it'll stick, though.

And Shelli, looking a little sullen.

I struggled today with feeling like I really really want to do something that's worthwhile. I've got at least two or three more semesters left before I'll have my degree and can potentially teach at community college, so I'm settled in that knowledge, but it's so hard to get through a stressful day and feel like it doesn't really amount to much. I definitely need to spend some time in prayer and contemplation, methinks, about my own attitude and perception and whatnot.

I learned tonight that butternut squash is best when made into fries. Otherwise, it's really soggy, even if roasted. I've got some in the fridge that I think I'm going to try to add to some oats or something. It'll probably be better served sweet than savory.

Ok...off to knit a little.

Stop. Sweater Time!! (Alternate Title: Actual Knitting Content)

2009-10-04T18:48:00.002-04:00

So, like a year ago in September, I decided that I wanted to make a sweater and started a really easy pattern. I can't really remember it now, but it was some kind of tunic from Berrocco's website, I think. Anyway, I altered it a little because the pattern was to be knit flat and seamed up and I didn't want to deal with seaming, so I am knitting it in the round. I'll pick up stitches for the sleeves, so the only actual seaming I'll have to do is the top of the shoulders. Anyway, I worked on it pretty diligently for a couple of weeks, but I think that the endless rows of stockinette finally got the better of me and I quit.

And, so it sat, and sat, and sat, and sat (I'm starting to sound like the book Once Upon a Potty here...). At New Year's, I made a resolution to finish it by March. Instead, I didn't even touch it at all.

Well, I've got everything that I'm currently working on off the needles right now, so I figured that I'd pull it out and perhaps have a sweater to wear this winter (if it turns out being wearable), and thanks to a girls' knit night last night (yay!! Total fun...next one is at my house, girls:)), I finally got to the length that I thought was appropriate to split for the sleeves. I did that this morning.

Splitting for the sleeves is either very difficult, or I was totally doing it wrong, because I felt like a total moron trying to get the cable through half of the stitches to hold while I'm working on the front. I have to knit up the front eight inches, and then switch to the back and do the same, and then seam them together save for the neck hole, and then I can pick up the sleeves and start to knit them down. Now that I have the interchangeable needle set, I think I've got a cable short enough to be able to knit them down without DPNs, which I'm glad about, not because I don't love dpns, but because I think there'll be too many stitches involved, and mine aren't that long.

Here are a few pics....sorry for the crappy lighting, but we keep the lights kind of low at the house to save electricity:

I just looooooove this color. It's one of Bernat's yarns, and it's really really soft. It's a deep purple with grey in it also. Absolutely one of my favorite colors. I'm a little nervous about getting the roll out of the bottom, though, because it's acrylic. I don't know that it'll block out well. It's making me wish I had either done some ribbing at the bottom or done a few rows of garter stitch, which I also think would look pretty freaking awesome. I think that the next one I do will be a yoked sweater. I'm really wanting to do Jared Flood's Cobblestone for Joey.

Just a couple of close-ups of where I split for the sleeves. I'm really looking forward to finishing this, if nothing else than to have my size 9 circular and my long cable back. So, I'll be working on this tonight while watching football and we'll see how much farther I get.

Next week? Normalcy (yay)! With the exception of a BBQ at my boss's house, we've got nothing out of the norm to do and I can't get over how thrilled I am. We're going to hit the gym Monday and Tuesday, and maybe Friday, so it'll be good to get back into the groove of taking care of myself. Hot Dog!!

Love to everyone:)

Thoughts on Stress Management: Finding Time for YOU at Work...

2009-10-02T21:31:00.003-04:00

From my range qualification last week. Notice how good the shots are...of course, it was just a .22, so it wasn't that hard. We had a lot of fun at the CCH class and on the range, and I learned a lot. Education is never a bad thing!

I'm finally caught up with school...procrastination sucks. I'd make a vow never to do it again, but I'd really be lying, so we'll leave it at that.

A thought on stress management at work....finding a way to relax during the day is really an imperative if you work in a fast-paced and stressful environment. Americans take less vacation time than they ever have before and are working more and more hours and are more stressed and less happy than they've ever been. Many of us may not be in the position to be able to reduce the amount of work that we do, so we have to find a way to cope with the situation in which we find ourselves.

When I began my first corporate job, I noticed that almost everyone ate their lunch at their desk and just continued to work or passed time on the computer for a while before diving back into work. Naturally, I followed suit ("when in Rome," yes?). Within three months after starting the job, I found myself having headaches on the right side of my head and a serious case of eye strain. Unfortunately, it took me another four years or so to figure out that what I really needed was some time away from my desk, away from the ringing phone and chatter.

Just fifteen minutes or half an hour of quiet in the middle of a work day can do so much to help you re-center yourself, calm yourself down, and refocus so that you're able to work to the best of your potential for the rest of the day. Whether you're sitting outside, running to the coffee shop, or taking a walk, time to yourself is so important.

I like to take "car naps." As long as it's not too hot, I'll take my lunch hour and kick back in my driver's seat and sleep for a while in total silence. During some of the cooler summer days, I'd roll my windows down to let a cross breeze though, but it also let added noise in too. These days, with it being nice and cool, I can leave the windows up and have the fan blowing a little air through the car cabin. After an hour of uninterrupted, quiet time to clear my mind and relax, I find myself much better put together for the rest of the day.

You don't have to nap; just find some time to remove yourself from the stressful situation, and you'll be much more clear when you have to jump back in;)

I Got a Feelin' (woooo hooooo)....

2009-10-01T20:51:00.003-04:00

It's been a while, yes. Things have been absolutely insane this week...between recording for ITC09, schoolwork, month-end at work, and a seriously nasty case of laryngitis, I've been either working on something or totally collapsing with absolutely no mental function whatsoever. I was able to get my solo recorded; I didn't feel spectacularly about it, but Phil seemed to be okay with it, and I trust him, so it's done. I started getting hoarse over the weekend, and apparently Monday was the *last* of my voice, because I've sounded TERRIBLE since. But the pressure's off now, so if I sound raspy/squeaky, it is what it is.

I'm looking forward to the prospect of next week being mostly normal, without tons of extra stuff added in. I'm always amazed by those people who can keep on going and going and have their calendars absolutely packed and be happy. I'm just not like that...I need to have several nights at home each week to decompress and recover. It's something that's taken a long time for me to learn about myself, and I think that, for the most part, I'm doing okay with it right now. I'm down to only one evening commitment, choir, which is a nonnegotiable for me; everything else has been stripped away and I've never felt better about it. It's weird, though....like, I LOVE it when friends come over, but to actually go *out* sometimes is a little overwhelming.

I'm also *very* routine-oriented....so to have a week where the routine's disrupted so much really weirds me out. This week hasn't been too bad; I just had recording on Monday and then went to most of the choir recording last night (I just listened since I couldn't sing), but Tuesday night and tonight were normal and I don't think we've got anything big going on tomorrow night either (except for schoolwork for me).

This semester is really rocking schoolwise. I did procrastinate this week...I hate that; I'd been much better about it for the first month. But overall, I feel much more connected to the coursework and the program in general. I feel like I *am* actually in a graduate program and I *am* actually working toward my academic goals, finally. It's funny...I always felt so confident in my academic abilities when I was in college. No fear. Seriously. I attacked every paper and project and felt absolutely certain that I'd be able to pull off an "A." Then, I get away from school for five years, and go back and now, I feel like the lowest common denominator sometimes. I've got to get my mojo back;)

Saturday...FLEA MARKET day!!! I'm going to take ten bucks with me again and see if I can find SOMETHING this time since I went away with nothing last month. I'm loving going to Metrolina expo again....we used to go every month when I was a kid, and it's so awesome to get to do that with my folks again. We always have a blast! And, the end of the month is the Gun Show! That'll be exciting.

So, overall, lots of good stuff coming up (camping trip in a few weeks too!)...just got to keep the right frame of mind.

Happy World Vegetarian Day, by the way! Most of you probably didn't know about it, so try to go tomorrow without eating meat. It's not that hard, and it'll really make a big difference for you, health-wise and soul-wise. Maybe take the time to think about how far-reaching the sins of Mankind really were. We didn't just sentence ourselves to death with the first sin....we sentenced ALL of Creation.

Blessed (Joey's Alternate Title: Rhonda the Honda, V2.0)

2009-09-25T21:30:00.002-04:00

I'm having trouble getting my "mojo" going with my Ethnic Lit paper, and I wanted to post this update/story, so we're going to give it a go.

"Rhonda," as we affectionately call her, came into our lives about a year and a half ago. In December of 2007, my very first car, "Fatboy," my very bestest car friend, finally had his unceremonious and final demise. He'd been with me through high school, college, and a wreck that nearly parted us. We'd replaced part after part, and this time, it was the transmission, and as he was an old Hyundai (everyone I met was amazed that he was still running at all), it wasn't worth the cost to have a new (or used) transmission put in. In February, we donated him to the Kidney Foundation. The default deduction that you're given when you donate is $500. We later found out that he brought only $225 at auction. That actually hurt, to be honest.

We were doing okay with one car in early 08; Joey and I were carpooling to work, and when we needed two vehicles, his parents didn't mind rearranging things and helping us out. We knew, however, that we were going to have to find another car before Joey started his schoolwork at Wake Forest; he'd be making multiple three-hour drives, and I would need to be able to get back and forth to work every day. We prayed about it, and waited.

Rhonda belonged to our friend Wayne, who worked at our church; he'd gotten her in Rhode Island some years back while working there. He bought her for five hundred dollars, and she saw him through the rough weather of Rhode Island, through his move down here to NC, and had driven faithfully for the (almost) four years that he lived here. Shortly after he got married, he and Erin, his wife, felt called to the northeast and were going to be moving to NY. And there, our lives with Rhonda intersected.

They knew they'd only need one car, and felt led to give Rhonda to us....well, to "sell" her to us for $1 for the title's sake. We were speechless. It was a whirlwind, really...they offered, we accepted, they came over and signed the car over, and then, they were gone. However, they did let us know that Rhonda had some...."quirks." Among them were: a hole in the exhaust, a sagging front bumper, power doors that no longer worked, power seatbelts that no longer worked and were fixed in the "locked" position (you have to crawl under them to get in), a driver's side front window that won't roll down, broken AC, TONS of dents and rust damage. I don't really remember what else. But she RAN! and well!! And we were grateful, no matter what.

We had some work done right when we got her, and she's been fine until recently; we had to have a new clutch put in, to the tune of $900. Still, she's cost us less than our new car has in payments and insurance, and her taxes are low and the inspection cost is low. But she wasn't pretty.

Until now.

To protect the identity of the "culprit," let's just say that someone blessed us more than we could have imagined with an Extreme Makeover for Rhonda. And here she is:

Her dents have been fixed, the rust was fixed (as much as possible). The whole car was painted. There's a new door (with a window that rolls both up AND down), and there's a working AC. The power locks work now, and the knobs on the dash were replaced so we no longer have to use pliers to change the air temperature. I don't even know what else was done.

She is absolutely beautiful. I cried when I saw her because of the change, but mostly I cried over someone's generosity and God's grace. She's not perfect; she's got 260K miles on her, and she's twenty years old. But she's the unofficial fourth member of our family, and she serves as a daily reminder that God really *is* there.

Washed By the Water

Needtobreathe

Daddy was a preacher

She was his wife

Just tryin to make the world a little better

You know, shine a light

People started talking

Just to hear their own voice

Those people tried to accuse my father

Said he made the wrong choice

Though it might be painful

You know that time will always tell

Those people have long since gone

My father never failed

Even when the rain falls

Even when the flood starts rising

Even when the storm comes

I am washed by the water

Even when the Earth crumbles under my feet

Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me

I won’t never ever let you down

I won’t fall, I won’t fall, I won’t fall, as long as you’re around me

Even when the rain falls

Even when the flood starts rising

Even when the storm comes

I am washed by the water

ANOTHER Pictureless Blog? Get With the Program!!

2009-09-23T21:00:00.002-04:00

Sorry about that. I've got to get better about taking pictures throughout the day. I have a couple that I'm going to post in the next blog or two about the past visit to the shooting range and qualifying for the CCH class I'm taking this weekend.

So, last weekend was incredibly good for me health-wise. Spending all day Friday and most of Saturday in the bed really restored my kidneys...but, on Sunday, I felt a slight sore throat. On Monday, I sounded like a frog:(. Tuesday, hacking and stuff, and today, more hacking, but it's moved into my head. I should be really grateful, though, because as far as I remember, this is the first time I've gotten sick since last December right before the Christmas Muscial. On a tiny negative note, I'm finding it a little hard to come up with warm beverages that soothe the throat that don't include chicken broth. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not intending to go back to being an omnivore, but, I guess you can say that I'm discovering one of the less-than-great sides of giving up meat and meat products.

I've been making do with some nine bean soup that Mom sent home with me last weekend and I froze. It's DELICIOUS, but, unfortunately, with nine beans....well, let's just say that it must be eaten after 1 pm if I'm at work or else I'm SPRINTING into the house with no chance to say "hello" to Joey. But it's good!

On the docket for the rest of the week? Reading for Ethnic Lit, and working on a paper. Working on my project for Research Bib/Methods, writing another two frugal articles, and practicing the song I'm recording Monday afternoon (I'm wondering when I'll get to practice since I can't sing).

Look Out, Here Comes Tomorrow...

2009-09-20T18:55:00.002-04:00

This one made me laugh today, so I figured I'd share with you (also, especially for my mom, who has a deep connection with raccoons...). I always save my LOL Cats for last on my Google Reader...saving the best for last, I suppose.

As quickly as it began, my three day (that was supposed to be a camping trip) weekend is now over. I've been 25 hours with no hydrocodone...a little pain, but I'm going to wait until I go to bed to take another one so I can get used to not having it in my system. I've never had an "injury" this bad before, so I didn't believe Joey when he told me how much better I'd feel after spending a weekend doing nothing. He was so right.

Tomorrow will be back to the grind, though. I'm a little nervous, really, because I took things so slow this weekend...we just went to Wal Mart today and I had to take a 1.5 hour nap afterward. Tomorrow will be a full work day, and then knitting group at 6:30. Hopefully, I'll be able to stay the whole time.

Good night, everyone!

On the Mend...

2009-09-19T13:22:00.002-04:00

Hi there! Man, let me tell you, I would never wish the last week on another soul, definitely. So, all of this talk about recovering from a kidney stone in 48 hours? Bull-hockey. A few things my doc didn't tell me:

Save the stone. Nope. He just told me what it was going to look like and to look for it. After the fifth person asked me "did they send the stone off for diagnostics?," I felt like a pretty big fool for not saving it on my own. Hopefully, it's not hereditary and whatever dietary changes I make as a result will keep me from having another one.
Sometimes the pain afterward is just as bad, or worse, than the pain before. My Aunt passed that one along to me (and I'm very grateful. I thought I had another one and was terrified). I passed the stone on Monday and spent Monday night taking a hot shower every hour just to get relief...finally got to sleep at 4 am and then went to work on Tuesday.
Patients (women, in particular) should have 48 hours of bed rest after passing the stone. I should have been home on Tuesday and Wednesday not doing anything. Instead, I went to work and worked full days. I'm sure that did WONDERS for my muscles in my side and back, as well as my torn ureter, etc.
It can take two weeks to heal...I have two friends to thank for that bit of knowledge. I had to call the doc again Thursday to ask him to call in another hydrocodone prescription for me so I would have more pain relief since his "48 hour" healing time didn't pan out that way.

So, thanks to family, friends, and extensive internet searches, I've spent yesterday and thus far today doing precious little. Joey didn't let me out of bed at all yesterday, save for an hour at dinner time to eat and watch Jeopardy and 1/2 of AFV. I just made it out to the recliner about an hour ago, and thus far, I'm not having much pain and haven't had any hydrocodone since 4:30 this morning.

I'm thinking about trying to find a new PCP...I've been staying with this one because he's the same guy I've had since I started college ten years ago, so I have history with him, but I don't like feeling like I didn't get a full picture of what I would be facing with this. I feel like I've done a pretty good job over the past year of the anxiety/depression treatment of not being afraid of the doctor anymore, but no one likes having something wrong with them and not knowing either what it is or what to expect. I'm also pre-hypertensive and stress also manifests itself in a physical way with me. I might need to switch to someone who'll listen to me and help me to be actively involved in my own health. I guess it's something to think about.

Well, that's about all I've got right now. Schoolwork is done for the day. I'm going to relax.

Happy 200th Post to ME...BLEH

2009-09-14T09:43:00.002-04:00

Well, I was anticipating amuch more fun post full of pictures and some kind of great story, but we have to play with the cards we're dealt, I suppose. It's been quite the weekend, that's for sure.

Thursday, I felt a little weird all day; I had a little tummyache and when I woke up from my car-nap, I felt really panicky for no apparent reason and couldn't calm myself down. The rest of the afternoon/night went fine, though, so I didn't think anything of either problem.

Until about 1 am. I was struck with the worst pain I've ever felt in my life; it seared through my left side and back, causing my back muscles to begin to spasm. I thought I was just having stomach cramps, so I told Joey I was going to go into the living room so I wouldn't disrupt him. I spent the rest of the night writhing in absolute agony, simultaneously feeling overheated and having chills, all topped by wave after wave a nausea. Finally, at 4 am, I made Joey drive to Wal-Mart to pick up a heating pad and some Ibuprofen. I told him I'd call the doc once they opened and he went to work. I prayed I'd pass out from the pain a few times. From the symptoms I was describing, several people told me that I probably had a kidney infection. I've never had one before, so I didn't really know how bad it would hurt.

The doc's office worked me in at 12:30, and I spent the rest of the morning jumping into a hot shower every hour to help with the pain. I was heartened, though, b/c I was told that, if it was a kidney infection, I would feel a ton better as soon as I started the antibiotic.

Not so. The doc thought that I probably had a kidney stone rather than an infection and sent me home with a tiny strainer to pee through and a prescription for hydrocodone and an antibiotic just in case there was any infection. A few thoughts on this:

Hydrocodone does NOTHING. If I'd know that it was only acetamenaphin and codein, I would have told the doctor where he could put it, since Tylenol has NEVER worked on me.
Peeing through a strainer is one of the most difficult things I've tried. It's nearly impossible to do without peeing all over one's hand and being totally grossed out.
Either the pain pill or the antibiotic is supposed to cause constipation. Great. Give someone with excruciating pain in their stomach a pill that's going to make them have to pop an eyeball out to poop.

So, the treatment prescribed was to drink tons of fluid and try to flush the little sucker out. I spent our one and only evening with our friend James (who got a pass before he went to Iraq) feeling crappy, but the pain subsided that night. Saturday, I felt GREAT! Surely I must have passed it, yes? We went up to Charlotte and had breakfast, went shooting, and had lunch with my parents. I was doing great until about 11 that night. *sigh*....another night spent writhing in agony...this time, in bed as I asked Joey to take the chair in the living room. Another night of hot showers every hour so I could get ten minutes of sleep. Another night of having the shakes from the pain. The stone had only lodged temporarily and was now on the move again.

I had to miss church yesterday. I've had to stay home from work again today. I've tried the home remedies and I'm hoping they'll kick in.

Operation Oatgurt: Failure. Operation Almond Butter: WIN!!

2009-09-09T20:55:00.003-04:00

It's been a couple of days, so I figured an update was in order. First, the oatgurt was....GROSS. Bleh. I think I let it ferment for too long and it ended up spoiling. It looked like the pictures, with the crust over the top that looked a little like sourdough bread, but it smelled...different....like how I remember the dumpsters behind my elementary school smelling. Nonetheless, I mustered my strength and tried a bite. Not very good. "Maybe it needs some flavoring," I thought, and added honey and Almond Butter. Another bite..."mmpgh," the sound of me running to the kitchen sink to spit it out before I hurled it onto the floor. So, needless to say, the rest is going down the disposal, and if we try again, we're only letting it go for 24 hours.

Dinner last night was some excellent potato hash that Joey made (check out the recipe HERE). It was incredibly tasty with a little hot sauce and some ketchup!

Here's a pic of the raw almond butter that I made the other night! I didn't process it for long enough, so it's pretty thick, but I'm learning that it's good on/in pretty much anything! Yesterday, I put a little in my brown rice and added some sesame furikake for a savory, nutty treat! Today, I had it in oatmeal, and I thinned a little out and put it on some steamed broccoli, which was interesting, but not bad at all! I'll definitely roast the almonds before the next batch, though...it's supposed to do wonders for the flavor.

Here's a side-shot, and yes, we do recycle our glass jars. We used to mix up powdered milk, and it tastes better when kept in the fridge in glass containers. They also come in handy for sauces and stuff like this, and the jars and lids go through the dishwasher just fine. Why buy thousands of plastic containers when you're almost sure to have used something in a glass jar recently??

And now, for a little kitty pron....Joey got some really good shots of Shelli playing around the other night in the box that our new water heater came in. It never ceases to amaze me how you'll spend hundreds of dollars on fancy cat toys and perches and "trees" and whatnot, and a giant cardboard box ends up being what she goes nuts for.

Daddy got her riled up with the wrist strap for my camera in this shot; she was definitely entertaining to watch.

Tomorrow's Joey's super-early day again (going to Wake Forest), so he'll be up and moving before 3 am. Gotta love it. I'm so proud of him.

Is it "Labor" on Labor Day if it's FUN?

2009-09-07T20:06:00.003-04:00

Today has been the most perfect day off that I've ever had. I had already planned to go sit in on one of Joey's classes so that I could see the "instructor" in action. The class met in the same room where I had Women in Lit, eh....nine years ago (or so). I sat in the back this time (I usually sat on the front row by the window whenever I could). The kids looked sooo young. I don't remember us looking that young when we were freshmen. I don't feel like I look al that different other than the extra forty pounds, few wrinkles around the eyes, and white hairs here and there. I could still pass as a student! Anyway, Joey did a really good job, and the kids were attentive and talkative, so that was neat to see. There were a couple of girls who asked if I wanted to work in their group with them when Joey broke them into groups for discussions. It was really sweet...they didn't know who I was since I didn't say anything.

After that, we talked to our friend Mark who's a religion professor there, and then went and hung in Joey's office for (part) of his office hours. I spent an hour with Dr. Little-Sweat, my poetry/creative writing professor. She's got some really great things coming up dealing with poetry and performance. Expect to see some discussion of that once she's finished her project. She's actually the third longest-standing faculty member at Wingate....if I've done the math right, she'll be entering into her 47th year there next year.

I spent another hour with Dr. Thomas, for whom I worked as a student assistant for 3.5 of my 4 years at Wingate. I just love her to death...she really made me want to further my education and go on beyond undergrad. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't do it right away like I had originally planned, but had I, we wouldn't have left Baylor and Joey would have gotten a much worse education than he did at Gordon-Conwell. I think we're getting the best of both worlds now. I'm getting a good education through ECU (they know how to do distance ed right!), and Joey's getting a VERY rigorous workout in his PhD program and is working with some of the greatest minds in theology currently. I really could've sat and talked to Dr. Thomas for another hour, but she had a noon class.

I tried to stop in and see my favorite Spanish professor, Mark Schuhl, but his office hours ended at noon, so I just missed him. It was weird to walk into the alcove where the foreign language prof's offices are. Mark had us do our Latin American lit class in their breakroom because there were only three of us in the class, so we met in there instead of a big, empty classroom. I spent soooo much time in that room between that class and the two independent studies I did with him and Carmen Rivera. I miss Wingate so much...even thinking about it makes me want to cry, honestly.

They've carpeted the first floor of Burris. The student center looks totally different...the Klondike is gone and the mailboxes are where it used to be. There's a little stand with some pre-made sandwiches, snacks, and drinks. You don't get your own textbooks anymore...you go to a desk at the back and they get them for you. The new Hayes building (connected to Burris) is incredible...the classrooms are really swanky. But, it's still the same old place....there's such a feeling of comfort in prowling those halls. Even if I did get lost trying to find the bathroom again in the basement of Burris. That was always my go-to poop bathroom because no one's there early in the morning;).

Anyway, we hit Wal-Mart after we were done at Wingate and stocked up on some groceries for the week...came home and had lunch, and I went to take a nap when our friend showed up to install the new water heater. That was about 2:30. Joey woke me up at 6. I had light ice cream for dinner (hehe). That's a Labor Day that can't be beat:). I'm about to go and make some almond butter and then relax a little before hitting the hay (again).

Oh! The oatgurt is done fermenting...I moved it to the fridge this morning. Hopefully, I'll be brave enough to try it tomorrow. I hope everyone had a fantastic Labor Day! Remember to appreciate where you are now...you may look back on it years from now and realize that it was one of the best places in your life.

Girls Night, Almond Butter, Oatgurt, Nooch, and skulls!

2009-09-04T21:00:00.003-04:00

Man, I'm sooo glad that we have a long weekend. It's been a very long week, albeit with some good parts (girls night!!). Monday was month-end at work, so I ended up hanging out online until 9 to see if anyone had any last minute business that needed to be handled. Tuesday was the afore-mentioned girls night, which was fun, but unfortunately, I cooked something spicy with onions in it, and Shannon's not big on onions and Katie's not big on hot stuff:(...I'll do better next time, girls, promise:). Wednesday was choir, and last night was cooking night! I made butternut squash fries (recipe here). Tonight, we hit the Wally World for a few things. I got a 2 pound bag of almonds to make almond butter!

I also have a batch of oatgurt fermenting in the oven. I've been reading about this stuff on Heather's blog for a while and after emailing her to make sure I could do it with rolled oats rather than oat groats, I decided to give it a try. I've got the oven off, but I figure it's going to be a relatively warm place in the house and will hold in the temp pretty well. I've got to let it ferment for 48 hours or so, and then I'll let you know how it turns out.

Dinner tonight was really simple; I just had some grits and a scrambled egg, together with hot sauce and nutritional yeast. The nooch is growing on me...it's supposed to be used as a cheese substitute for vegans, and I spent an arm and a leg on it at Earthfare a while back, so I'm not going to let it go to waste. It's definitely yeasty, but I think if you go into it expecting that it's not going to taste just like cheese, it's a lot better. I also put some on my broccoli at lunch today.

Tomorrow is FLEA MARKET day! Hope I find more skull stuff:)

I Got that Boom Boom Pow....

2009-09-02T21:16:00.003-04:00

I'll be honest; hardly a day goes by that I don't spontaneously end up with a Black-Eyed Peas song stuck in my head; it began way back in the day with "Hey Mama," and continues on and on. I don't really mind, though...while I don't listen to much pop music these days, BEP is the rare exception. I love them. Totally.

One observation from the day; I wouldn't go into some random person's house whom I've just met and inform them that it smells like cat pee. I may think it. Heck, I may even tell my friends in private that the house smelled of cat pee. But it's just plain rude to lay it out there when I've just met cat-pee-lady. It makes me look like a jerk and makes her feel inadequate and insecure, and probably makes her feel like I'm a jerk too. The above is a random example to illustrate the following point: if you are not smart enough to operate the brain-filter that keeps you from saying rude things, then you should probably just shut up at all times to be safe. :)

Today was a great car-nap day; it was cool and breezy, and I got a whole hour without sweating to death. It's a really nice break during the work day...I found that I was spending too much time at the computer by eating lunch at my desk...makes for eye strain and frustration, really. So, whenever it's a good day now, I chill in my car; whether it's doing schoolwork or writing, or napping, it's just a good time to be in the quiet and decompress for a bit.

Duane sent some butternut squashes to me. I can't wait to make b-nut fries!!

See You In September....

2009-08-31T19:39:00.002-04:00

:). I'm sooooo ready for September. Seriously. August was a very long month and, quite honestly, it wasn't a really great one, I don't think. I had fun at the flea market with my parents on the first Saturday. We had fun at the parties for Shannon's dad and for James. The trip to Indy was hard, I'm not going to lie. Shooting with my parents was fun, but the month was just soooo busy. I've not eaten well, and we've not been to the gym in quite some time. Between being busy and my ankle, I don't know that we've actually been to the gym since I sprained my ankle. September is the chance to get back into the groove, to get back used to school again, to get back to the gym and to get back on track.

I always felt weird in grade school when we started back in August, like it wasn't really time to be in school until I could write "September" on the page. September was the month when school kicked in gear, when the weather (mercifully) started cooling off and it started getting dark a little earlier, when the leaves gave just a little hint of changing into their amazing fall array. I can't wait for leaf change season...I'm hoping that we'll get to enjoy peak leaf color during our camping trips to Balsam, NC in September and October.

This summer has left me feeling sluggish, tired, sapped of energy, listless, and dissatisfied. What a bummer, eh? Camping with Shannon and James was a welcome bright spot. Most of the summer goals I set went unachieved. I'm really hoping that I'll get it together for my fall goals.

We shall see.

Even More Thoughts on Frugality and Whatnot

2009-08-29T19:13:00.002-04:00

Yeah, frugality has been on the brain these past several weeks, even moreso than just for my routine duties as Charlotte's Frugal Living Examiner. We'd already gotten lax over the summer with getting takeout more than once a week, and then couple that with our trip and the new clutch in Rhonda, and it's started to add up. So, I've been brainstorming different things to do to save $$ this fall and ways to incorporate the blog in such. I have more liberty here than I do with the Examiner website, because those articles need to stay away from personal experience, so to actually share my own stories, I'll have to do that here.

Anyway, I told you last time about how I'm royally sucking with the not getting Chinese takeout thing....*sigh*....that's mission #1. I've got to get better with that. September is our goal...no takeout at all. So, what we got on Thursday was in August, technically, AND I actually didn't hoover all of it and managed to put some away to have for dinner tonight. AND, Joey's parents got Chinese for us last night and I only ate half of that too, so I'll have something for dinner tomorrow night or lunch Monday....so, all in all, not a total failure, but I'm going to have to get good enough that I'm able to resist the temptation rather than whining about it until Joey gives in because he loves me so much.

Mission #2 has got to be less food waste. We have totally managed to keep our food budget in the $100 per month range before, so this really shouldn't be that much of a challenge, but we're really bad about letting produce rot and food go bad. I've been reading The Frugal Girl blog, which is awesome, by the way, but she does this thing called Food Waste Friday, where she catalogues the food that she has to throw away each week. I'm thinking of particpating in this too; she started doing it in March of 08 and apparently, it's helped her a good bit in reducing her food waste. We'll see what happens. Tomorrow begins the first week of our monthly budget shopping, so I'll be sure to catalogue what we get.

I'm singing tomorrow, so naturally, I'm starting to get nervous already. Those are earlyearly mornings...up at 5, leaving at 6:45 to be at church at 7. Off to bed early for me! Love to everyone!

Thoughts on Food and Upcoming Takeout Embargo Month

2009-08-28T12:42:00.003-04:00

So, the avoiding takeout thing for the month of September is going to be decidedly harder than I thought it would when I came up with the idea. Nothing makes me happier than an excellent Chinese meal (even though it's entirely too greasy), and being the emotional eater than I am, after my entirely craptastic day yesterday, the first thing I asked for when I got home was "something tasty." I reallyreally have to break myself of that. It's definitely not benifitted me, to the tune of about forty pounds that I can't stand to have on myself:(. But, anyway, enough of that.

We had Qdoba brought in by AXA yesterday, which was fantastic, and we had leftovers today for lunch, and it made me think of a few things:

We must purchase at least one avocado per week for guacamole.
We must get a bottle of lime juice to have on hand for said guacamole
We must purchase cilantro to have on hand for, well, EVERYTHING.
I HAVE to figure out how to make tomatillo salsa.

Honestly, I think that, armed with a good batch of guac and salsa all week, I'd be pretty well set as far as lunches are concerned. There's very little that's better than a black bean salad with guac and salsa as the dressing (what I had today for lunch). Avocados are healthy fats, and as far as I'm concerned, there is NO fresh herb out there better than cilantro. MOVE over, Basil. Here comes cilantro. With cilantro and lime, you really don't even need cheese, which is probably my hugest weakness.

So, I think the above ideas are pretty good...they are in keeping with the whole foods movement, and, made from scratch, they can prove to be a very inexpensive way to supplement meals.

If you can't tell, I'm in a much better mood than yesterday, despite having two really crappy dreams last night:

in the first, I dreamed that I was yelling at Joey and throwing things over and over and over...just anything, whatever I had in my hands (not specifically at him, but anywhere), and eventually drove him away:(
in the second, for some reason, I had gone on a business trip to FL and taken Mom with me and we were getting ready to come home and were at the airport (which was dirty and nasty and full of hoboes), when we looked at our itinerary and noticed that, because we were flying for business purposes, they routed us through Houston and then California and back to NC, so we weren't going to get home until waaaaaaay late, and both of us had to sing at church the next day, and Mom was really upset about missing singing (hehehe....I know you're cracking up about that, Mom) and started crying.

So, I got virtually no rest and almost fell asleep in the car a few times, but, I'm still feeling a whole lot better than yesterday. Plus, it's only getting up to 83 today, so I'm taking a NAP in the car at lunch today. Woohoo!

Ok.....off I go.

Loss for Words: Real Post Date, 8/27

2009-08-25T21:43:00.002-04:00

I don't really have much to say. I've had this blog draft saved for two days because I loved this pic of Shelli, because it makes her body look so long because of the POV I was shooting from. But, then she went on a peeing spree and we found it in a few places on Tuesday night and then I lost all will to blog:(. I hate feeling like I'm a prisoner of our cat, and I hate not knowing what's wrong with her...what she's trying to tell us. I know it's nothing medical, and I know that cats don't pee out of spite, so something had her bothered to make her do that. Anyway.

Today was a *very* stressful day. I already started out in a bad mood on the way to work...just let too much run through my head and got caught up in the bad, and then, what started as a relatively minor event at work (my dissatisfaction with how open my cubicle is), ended up being a much bigger deal than I'd intended for it to be and I spent half the morning holding back tears. Not sure why...usually work stress just makes me aggravated, but I guess, when coupled with the already crappy drive to work, it just kind of got out of hand.

I've also been a little ambivalent about my vegetarianism for the past couple of days....not because I'm sick of it or don't believe in it anymore, but I'm a little tired feeling guilty for people having to make sure there's a meatless option just for my sake. I thought about it, though, and I can't really see myself eating meat again...I feel too strongly about not doing it and about treating Creation the way God originally intended for it to be treated...for those of you who think we were chowing down on burgers and fried chicken in the garden of Eden, I'll direct you back to Genesis 1:29-30, where God directs both humans and animals to eat a vegetarian diet. Funny how that was never mentioned to me in church my whole life until I went back and found it this past February. I'm not trying to start an argument about this, honestly. I know full well that eating meat is expressly permitted later in the Bible...but I think that it's not intellectually dishonest or unScriptural to say that a world where humans and animals have a relationship of compassion rather than contention was God's original design.

Anyway, that's enough of my soapbox...I'm not sure why I got on that tangent. I'm probably going to go to bed shortly...don't know if I can accomplish much more today. Love to all!

Pew Pew Pew!!

2009-08-23T14:04:00.005-04:00

Here I am taping the target up so that we can reuse him. We're frugal even in our firing range practices;).And here's my mom wreaking major havoc on her target (and Dad keeping her steady so she didn't knock herself backwards onto her butt).

Yesterday was a lot of fun. My aim isn't too bad, honestly! But I will say that the indoor range was muuuch louder than shooting outdoors at Shannon's grandparents' house. I kept jumping any time someone else fired. But, a good time was had by all and that's the point!

It's been a relaxed, but strange weekend. Usually, James and Shannon are over either one or both nights. This weekend was spent solitarily, with lots of sleep, and with Joey working to set up his website for his class he's teaching at Wingate starting next week. Uneventful and relaxed? Yes, which has been nice, but I missed the comfort of knowing that we'd see some of our closest friends.

School starts this week.

All Quiet on the Weaver Front....

2009-08-19T13:19:00.004-04:00

Does it get any more devious than that look??

Things are, indeed, in the process of quieting down over here in Weaver-world. I don't know when we'll finally get settled back into a life routine, but I definitely hope it's soon. Joey is dealing with a two-day crash course in teaching higher ed, followed by his first day of classes on Thursday, so I'm playing PhD widow for a while; I miss Joey, but it's also nice to have a quiet house, so I'm not too terribly upset. It gives me a chance to write a little more freely...I don't know why, but I write so much better when I'm by myself.

Anyway, here are a few up-coming events, plans, and goals that are brewing over here in Weaverville...

We're engaging in some "guerrilla frugality" for the next few months. July and August proved to be very expensive months for us, and as a result, we're not sitting as comfortably as we usually are (no, we're not in trouble). So, to build back up, we're going to be doing the "no-frills" frugality thing. I'm a little excited, to be honest (I know, sick, huh?) as it'll definitely give me some ideas for my Examiner site! Two major parts of our Uber-frugal fall are: (a) NO eating out/takeout until the end of September, at least. I suspect that we may end up doing it for longer as I'll be getting back into the habit of cooking and making new recipes, and once I'm doing it, I love it...and (b)STICKING to our $100 per month grocery budget. Farmer's markets are making this one pretty easy right now. I'm also going to try my hand at making my own flatbread/wraps to further save $$, so keep your eye out for that!

School starts next week for me!! I'm so thrilled, nervous, excited...I actually feel the same butterflies that I felt when I was going back to college. It's a little disappointing, unfortunately, since the only contact I get with my profs and classmates is through a discussion board, but I'll take what I can get. This semester, I'm taking Ethnic Lit and Research Methods. I suspect that the former will be more fun and the latter will be more helpful, but I'm grateful for both!

More clutter-busting! Joey needs the office to be clean so that he'll have a quiet place to work on his school, and right now, we can't even walk in the office, so it's time to get some of the crap out of there and free up some space. We'll see how much we have and perhaps another yard sale will be in order...

More knitting! It's definitely time to crack down on my handmade Christmas goal, so I'll need to continue with the momentum I'm building up to get those presents made:)

More gym!! My ankle really doesn't hurt very much at all, so now that it's better and all of the crazy hub-bub of the last two months is over, it's time to get back into the gym routine. I always feel better when my body's not upset at me for what I'm eating and (not) doing.

So, there you have it...a productive update. I feel like I'm starting on an adventure!

Good Day, Bad Day? Who Knows...

2009-08-18T19:25:00.003-04:00

That was a good day. Today? Yes, and no. I'm feeling pretty tense all over and my ear was feeling pretty "cottony" earlier, but I got some stuff for it and now it feels much better. My calf muscles are insanely sore, and I have absolutely no idea what I did over the weekend to injure them, but I know for sure that they're not happy at all.

I had a long nap yesterday and then went to bed early last night, but I still woke up feeling exhausted and almost fell asleep on the way to work more than once. I felt off-kilter at work all day, like I was having trouble getting into what I was doing (moreso than just the normal laziness that plagues all of us in the cubicle world;)), and now that I'm home, I'm feeling sluggish and tired. I made some noodles and powdered cheese, as it's usually my go-to comfort food (I don't use the milk and butter to save fat grams), and it didn't really do much good, either.

It was an incredibly emotionally draining weekend, for sure, which wasn't entirely unexpected.

I'm feeling pretty disgusted with all of the clutter in the house.

And I'm pretty sure that I could crawl into bed right now and sleep a full night's sleep.

I can't wait to do it all over again tomorrow.

Today's the Day...

2009-08-16T07:48:00.003-04:00

Here's a shot of the Kins in mid-cleaning. Honestly, sometimes, I love to watch her bathe herself...she's so deliberate and makes sure she gets every little bit of herself...between her toes, in her ears. It's so cute. I do have to say, though, she's not nearly as graceful as Puss was at the whole bathing thing. I can remember Puss taking half an hour to make sure she was clean...Shelli doesn't have that kind of attention span...she'll clean for maybe ten minutes, and then she's moving on to something more important. Shelli is also really big about getting "bit by the dirty bug" as we'll call it...she'll be doing something and all of the sudden drop and lick herself furiously for a minute, and then move on. She's such a sweet little creature:)...and I love her dearly.

I'm watching CNN in the dark while Joey sleeps...since James's going away ceremony is late tomorrow night, and we won't be able to stay for it, we're going to go ahead and check out today, take James for a long lunch, and then meet his friends on base and head home this afternoon. It'll likely be pretty early tomorrow morning when we get back, so Joey needs all of the sleep he can get. I'm not worried about it, though...Joey's done longer stretches driving than the ten hours back of this trip. I'm really disappointed that James's ceremony isn't until tomorrow night, but it probably works out better this way, since he goes on "lock down" today and won't be able to leave the base after three pm anyway.

We've had a lot of fun on this trip...we've stayed up late, laughing and joking and reminiscing about the past year...we've watched Disney movies and action movies, and some show on the History Channel about guns and tanks....we've eaten out, went to Wal-Mart, walked to the gas station to get better coffee than the swill that the hotel has.

Last night, my body was DONE with the crap that I've been eating...enough said on that one...but I plan to be very careful at lunch today and try not to get anything greasy or too cheesy. We'll definitely be going back to pure, healthy, whole foods when we get home and I'm looking forward to that. It's funny how much you're affected by what you choose to put in your body. I can safely say that, should I be offered another piece of pizza, I think I'll just puke right there. Between the last few weeks and our dinner Friday/lunch yesterday, I am officially OVER pizza.

Anyway...I leave you with those thoughts. Follow me on Twitter (Melbo19) as I'll be tweeting the journey home. Love to all, and I'll catch you tomorrow.

Greetings From Indy!

2009-08-15T07:28:00.004-04:00

Yep...a drunken-kins shot;)...for the life of me, I have so much trouble getting a shot of her where she's not in mid-blink because of the flash. Anyway...I thought this was a funny one, and I haven't taken any pics yet of our trip. I've now been in two more states in which I've never been before...Kentucky and Indiana. Kentucky was pretty hilly, which was cool, but the landscape definitely flattened out once we hit IN.

The ride wasn't terrible...Shannon and I knitted and knitted and knitted...she started and finished an entire fingerless-glove and worked on a scarf, and I'm still plugging away on the "shawl that never ends" for my grandma for Christmas (shhhh Leah;)). I'm sure I'll have it done by the time we get back, maybe even today because James has some army stuff to do before we all spend the day together enjoying this time that we've got right now.

Shannon never ceases to impress me, seriously. I feel very blessed to have gotten to know her so well and to be such friends.

We arrived pretty late last night, and apparently there's some kind of geek-fest convention going on, so finding a hotel was a task...we've ended up at the Super 8, which is a little skeevy, but they have free wireless, so that's pretty awesome. I'm laying in the bed in the dark waiting for Joey to be ready to get up and go down to breakfast, and then we'll kill some time waiting for James to get back from his army stuff.

I hope Shelli's not too mad. Last time we left her, she was pretty ticked when we got home, like a pouty child, but after about half an hour, she was all over us telling us how much she missed us while we were gone. It's funny how much cats are like children; they are such amazing creatures.

Well, that's what I've got for now:)

Road Trip!

2009-08-13T08:01:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I didn't get any packing done last night. I was tired. So, sue me! Anyway, I was pretty exhausted when I got home from choir last night, so I had some brown rice and made a "microwave cake" for myself, and hit the sack around 11:30.

Today is shaping up to be a very busy day at work, as it usually is when I'm trying to plan for some time off...since we're taking James to Indy, I'll be gone tomorrow and Monday, and it's always a bear trying to get an extra day's worth of work done.

I reserved our campsites for September and October!! How exciting. We're hoping that Shannon can/will go with us in October, which should be beautiful because of the leaves changing, and September is going to be just a nice vacation for the two of us with no itinerary, like we had with James and Shannon last month.

So, now I'm pining away for breezy, cooler days and changing leaves, for pumpkins and scarecrows and black cats, for cornucopias and tofurkeys, for family and friends, for fall. Man, I can almost taste it.

New Frugal Living Article

2009-08-12T09:35:00.001-04:00

Check it out!

The art of frugal challenges and mini-challenges

Thanks for reading:)

Rise and Shine!

2009-08-12T04:51:00.002-04:00

Just a little Shelli action for you bloggies this morning:). Unfortunatley, I woke up at four this morning, probably because I took a 1.5 hour nap afterI got home from work and then went to sleep by 10. So, overall, I got seven hours of sleep, but it just didn't feel that way. Wonderful Joey made dinner while I napped; we had roasted potatoes...it definitely helped my tummy since I was feeling nauseated all day (I think it was the combo of the late night and the pizza...my body is really having trouble figuring out how to deal with all of this).

Joey also got some really good news regarding his class coming up right after we get back from Indy...the books that he thought he was going to have to read and have papers done for are actually no longer required, so now he's got time to focus on studying German for his quiz on the first day. I think that, while he's going to be seriously stressed at first trying to balance teaching and being a student, he's really going to enjoy himself this semester, and it's going to prove to him that he really can do it.

Thankfully, TruTV plays forensic shows until 5:30, so I've got something to keep on as background noise. Tonight is choir rehearsal, and then I'll probably go ahead and start packing for the trip so I'm not scrambling tomorrow night.

Exhaustion, Pure and Simple

2009-08-11T20:09:00.002-04:00

Man, you take one step to simplify your life and then fifteen things come up that grab your attention in a pretty serious way! This past weekend was a whirlwind of parties and friends and cutting loose and rich food and bonfires. Saturday night was Shannon's dad's fiftieth birthday party, Sunday night was James's going-away party, and yesterday, we went shooting and then James and Shannon came over for dinner. We ended up getting to bed well after midnight, and I felt horrible all day today. I ate pretty lightly to help make up for it and kept myself well-hydrated, but I was totally exhausted by mid-day and ended up nodding off while talking to one of my guys at work. Afternoon coffee was a must today:(.

It's all worth it, though...in just a few days, James will be off to Iraq for a year and these are the times we'll have to hold on to while we're waiting for him to get back. This past year has gone so fast...it seems like he just got back, and to look back and realize that we've all hung out almost every weekend since then....it's just weird to think about how quickly it went by. It's funny how fast friendships can be made, real friendships...kind of sucks to end up in limbo for a while. But, it's a pretty noble thing to volunteer to serve one's country, a very special call. It's a thing to be honored.

So, I'm taking Friday and Monday off so that we can go to Indy with him and Shannon and see him off. And, after that, I'm probably going to have to do some sort of detox to rid my body of all of the crap that I've ingested in the past few weeks. But, there will be time for that later! We're off to bed early tonight to try to catch up a little on sleep:).

Here Comes the Sun...

2009-08-08T07:45:00.002-04:00

I figured it was time for some kitty pron since I hadn't done any Shelli shots lately. I need to take some more since she's always doing something that's incredibly cute. Last night, she vascillated between Shannon's flip flops and Cory's sneakers and played with her black mousie in front of everyone! I just love her to death, really. She sleeps with me every night, curled up next to me (I have to sleep on my right side so that I'm facing her or she doesn't like it).

I checked out the book One Skein Wonders at the library on Thursday, so I'm going to pick a project out of that to work on over the next week or so. It's been a long time since I've actually finished anything, and I have so many randome skeins of yarn laying around that I think that a small, manageable, fast project will probably help to rekindle my knitting jones. Part of my simplifying journey right now is figuring out how to incorporate more of the things I love into my life while letting go of things I don't love as much. Knitting is such a fantastic hobby for someone with anxiety problems as it really gives you a way to keep your hands busy and gives you something to focus on while you have to wait for something or are thinking about something too much. I should have a WIP photo for you soon!

Today, Joey and I are going to the farmer's market in Monroe today to buy our produce for the week and to get some info for an upcoming feature series I'm working on for my Examiner site.
I'm really excited; I've never been to a farmer's market before and I'm so looking forward to the experience. I'll take pictures, too because it'll probably be worth a blog on here too.

I think I'm about to enter a season of frequent blogging here. I know that I haven't posted much over the summer, and part of it was because of my food blog, but the other part was because I've been so anxious and have been trying so much not to think about life and myself. Now that I'm taking steps to improve life and myself, I'm not so scared of it anymore.

Well, I'll probably blog again later today; we're going to relax after the Farmer's market experience and then we have a birthday party to attend this evening!! Good day, everyone!

Afternoon Coffee!!

2009-08-07T15:46:00.003-04:00

Yep, I'm having "afternoon coffee!" I've been on a real coffee kick for the past few days, which kind of stinks because the coffee here at work tastes like it's been brewed through old, musty underwear. But, it makes my afternoons much more productive, even though I know it's not all that good for me.

I've also been cutting back on salt, nothing too drastic, but I can already notice how EXTREMELY salty most processed foods are. I've been using this new salad dressing, Ken's Light Caesar, and it's so salty that I think I'm going to try to cut it with olive oil or something to reduce the salt. And, last night, I had some pasta with the Buitoni pesto, and it was uber-salty too. It's just funny, you hear that you'll be more sensitive to salt once you cut it out, but I never really thought it would happen. Makes eating lower sodium stuff easier, now.

It's been a rough and dramatic week for me, most of it in my own mind, but stressful nonetheless. I had to make a hard decision that made me feel like I was in a no-win situation...let other people down, or do what's not really the best for my sanity and for my family. After my most recent bout with the anxiety flaring up and an impromptu-visit to my psychiatrist, he made me realize that I've really got to sit down and physically write out my priorities, and then keep the non-negotiables and then maybe the next one or two after that, but try to let the rest go. When I did that, I saw how full my list had gotten and how divided my attention was becoming, which I'm sure contributes to why I've been feeling so out of balance and out of control these past several days.

I found myself thinking about last year, and about how I didn't really enjoy the holidays at all because I was so busy and how I had to miss or be late to some very important events this year because of other things, and I realized that I don't want that kind of stress. I don't want to feel guilty for wanting to see a friend before she moves away. So, I'm slowly working to remove extra things from my life to free up some time.

Frightening? Yes. Sad? A little. But reliving and liberating, too.

Dr. Arnold posted all of the information for my upcoming Ethnic Lit course in the fall so that we could get a jump on reading if we wanted to. I'm pretty glad for that because I really plan to do my best to get a little ahead. One of my self-disappointments from last semester was that I didn't do as much as I could have to stay ahead in my classes, and I found myself feeling like I was barely hanging on. School is one of the TOP non-negotiables (right behind Family and Work), so it has to come before many of the things in my life that I'd rather be doing.

Ok...enough rambling from me. The reign of pictureless posts will end soon. We've got some times upcoming soon that will merit pictures, and then, life will have to become very structured. But, there's comfort in routines for me. They make me feel like there's some semblance of order in my life;)

Letting Things Get to Me...

2009-08-04T13:24:00.002-04:00

I just like this pic. And I feel bad for having so many picture-less posts lately. That should change once I snap out of this latest blah-phase.

It's funny, I went back earlier and read back through my posts on this blog and it's so funny how I run in cycles....feeling overwhelmed, out of balance, lacking control, depressed and resentful, etc, and then happy, peaceful, hopeful, etc. It seems to run in cycles with the seasons, which is kind of funny since most people get depressed in the winter rather than in the summer.

I think that summer would be more joyful for me if I had a job where I was in/around the school system and worked on a school schedule. Summer is really just like any other time when you're in the corporate world, except that it's really hot and miserable. Eventually, I'll get there, but for now, I'll just have to wish for fall to come and cool things off and give us more time to enjoy nature (without worrying about nuclear sunburn, swarms of angry mosquitoes, or nearly-naked neighbors).

Rereading my blogs was helpful, though, because it's helped me to see that I've been through this all before. I was feeling really dissatisfied today, like nothing's ever going to get better. I guess that actually seeing that I've been there before makes me hopeful that maybe it will. I do hate that, even on medication, I'm still struggling with being able to cope with everyday situations. Lately, I've not been able to handle much more than going to work and coming home and collapsing in front of the TV, which I know is extremely unhealthy, and it's not how I want to live.

Some major planning will have to come as to what I'm going to try to do for the remainder of the summer to get my head back in the game and to get life back on the upswing. I am excited, though, because we're planning two camping trips coming up....one in September and the other in October (with Shannon, hopefully!!).

We'll get there. I know.

Extreme Frugality: Heating and Cooling Costs

2009-08-03T12:13:00.001-04:00

Check out my article on Examiner.com on heating and cooling costs: HERE

So Very Busy:(

2009-08-03T09:20:00.002-04:00

Oh my, I'm stepping into uncharted territory for me these days. We're finding ourselves doing something just about every night! Since I've gotten out of college, I've found myself needing increasingly more and more "down time," time away from obligations with church, work, etc. We're trying to spend as much time with James as possible since he'll be leaving in a week and a half. Don't get me wrong, I loooove time with friends, but my body doesn't know how to handle the constant on-the-go-ness. My eating schedule is erratic and the food I'm having is faaaar from the healthy fare that I need, so I'm finding myself with an upset tummy more days than not. I'm having strange dreams, and the house looks like a bomb went off.

I had to beg off on my parents to go see Harry Potter at the IMAX on Thursday night, and as usual, I feel horribly guilty:(. But we really need a night at home with nothing to do. I know that they understand, but I absolutely hate missing opportunities to have fun with them.

I'm trying to plan a camping trip for me and Joey in September, and then one for us and Shannon in October....seriously, I could camp at least once a month after what a great experience we had a few weeks ago.

Anyway, just a brief update...I may try to do a series over the next couple of weeks on how to cope when your routine gets turned upside down. If I can figure out how to cope, that is;).

Announcement:)

2009-07-31T09:53:00.002-04:00

No, I'm not pregnant. Geez, people;).

I'm writing for the Examiner website about frugal living, and I'd love for you to read my stuff (to help you on your frugal journey, but seriously because I get paid based on your clicks on my page!!).

See My first Article: Why Be Frugal? Here

And my second: Where to Begin, Here

Thanks for reading:). There will be more life updates on the ol' blog this weekend, as I have time!

Birthday Adventure Number Two

2009-07-27T19:06:00.002-04:00

Smile.

2009-07-22T23:01:00.004-04:00

Wisdom comes with age. Time heals all wounds. It all comes out in the end. Maybe these are true?

I'll be up late tonight; I had coffee too late and it always makes me want to stay up all night.

I cooked cabbage tonight...wish it smelled as good as it tasted. The wohle house smelled like an awful fart, which generally isn't much different than normal, but this time it wasn't because of me.

I wish we were back in the mountains camping right now, relaxing by the campfire with nothing to do. Life is so full of deadlines, commitments, obligations, jobs, lines, errands, whatever. And not enough time spent relaxing, thinking, praying, talking, loving, caring, helping, comforting......

The big wheel keeps us spinning around....

Modern-Day Walden Experience (with a little tweak)

2009-07-21T19:51:00.004-04:00

Last weekend, we went camping in the mountains with James and Shannon. I have to tell you, it was, hands-down, the most fabulous vacation I've been on that I can remember. Since I am easily overwhelmed and stressed, camping was the perfect vacation for me. We arrived on Friday, set up camp, and built a fire, ate dinner, talked, and relaxed until we were ready to sleep. Saturday, we visited some nearby waterfalls, but spent most of the day around the fire again, talking and laughing. A trip without an itinerary is perfect for me; no schedule to keep, no getting stressed because we're not "on time" to do what we'd planned to do...just a fire, good friends, tasty food, and a dog:).

Our Beach Misadventure!

2009-07-10T22:23:00.006-04:00

Katie and I went to Wrightsville Beach in Wilmington, NC yesterday....and it rained, and rained, and rained, and rained:(.

We got to play in the water for about half an hour, and then spent the next hour and a half huddled under our umbrella in the rain.

Burka on the beach....

enjoying a brief break in the black clouds...

So, we hit up the USS North Carolina to spend the rest of our day and it was fabulous! We took five hours to go through the ship and read almost everything that they had. So many soldiers who'd served there offered their memories of their time on the ship WWII.

Driving the ship:)

Isn't it awesome how huge the anchor is?

So, the day was super-fun, even though it wasn't as originally intended. I also had McDonald's coffee twice yesterday. Not too shabby, honestly. So, that's all for now.

Mountain Climber, Ankle Sprainer.

2009-06-28T08:55:00.002-04:00

I know I look pissed. That's because I was near death. It was good, though, to know that I pushed my body just about as far as it could possibly go. I was so spent that I was actually getting chills in the 90+ degree heat. When we finished the trail, there was this rock face with just some crags to wedge your foot in and I told Joey I couldn't do it. He went ahead to take some pics, and then came back and said that, if I could try, it would be worth it. It totally was. You could see for miles and miles and miles and miles. We're definitely going to do this again during the leaf changing season and maybe have a picnic lunch up there or something.

Unfortunately, on the way back down, not long after this photo, I stepped wrong with my right foot and rolled my ankle; I heard it pop and knew I was in trouble. We still had about a mile and a half to go to get down the mountain, so I proceeded to walk on it, even though I probably shouldn't have (but how pitiful would it have been to have to have rangers carry me down the mountain because I sprained my ankle, seriously).

This morning, it was pretty swollen and it hurts to put weight on it. Joey told me to stay home and keep it up. *sigh*

One More Day!!!

2009-06-24T21:24:00.002-04:00

The final discussion for my summer class ends tomorrow! I've already posted what I need to, but I'll need to pop back in through the day tomorrow and post some reactions. I'm so glad that this course is almost done. While it's been a great experience (the panic of having a crap-ton to read every week and an equally large crap-ton to write), I'm really looking forward to two months of break before starting back in the fall. One of my major goals for the fall is to really throw myself into my schoolwork and enjoying the experience of grad school. I seem to forget that things are finite and it's wasteful to spend so much time wishing that things were over. Gotta enjoy the ride!

We're going hiking again on Saturday! That'll be every other week for the past five weeks....totally awesome. We're totally into this new activity!!

I figured it was time for another Kins-shot:)

Mountain Moments

2009-06-21T21:13:00.006-04:00

Here are a few pics from our hike at Crowder's Mountain last weekend:

This tree was huge. It was so beautiful

Me near the end of the trail. We were totally worn out, but it was definitely worth it!

Don't those steps look like they'll go on forever? It's almost like going into an enchanted forest or something:)

Totally weird bug. No idea what it was, but I'd never seen one before, so it got a pic.

Since I'm mushroom obsessed, I had to get a pic of these babies:)

We did a 5.25 mile hike. I drank a liter and a half of water; having those hydration packs helps so much, really. We had a yard sale this weekend (made some good money too!), so I think we're going to go again next weekend, but to King's Mountain this time. I think we've done all we can do at Crowder's and King's is pretty close. Hiking is SOOOO much fun!!

I Guess it Has Been a While...

2009-06-06T20:30:00.002-04:00

I was gently reminded by a friend this week that I haven't updated my blog in a while;)...that's mostly because things are just humming along here. Not much new. Joey's almost done with his semester. I'm in full swing with my summer class. We're rolling along:). Hope all of you are also!

Bloggity Update

2009-05-25T09:17:00.002-04:00

Hi faithful readers! Just popping in....not much new going on these days. Joey has to work today, which really stinks, but we can use the money and he likes his coworkers, so there are much worse things that could have happened today. I've been enjoying a relaxed, laid back morning catching up on the blogs that I read. I'll spent most of the rest of the morning reading my book for class, and then I'll hit the gym (we skipped yesterday because we were so exhausted) and maybe try to clean up a little after I get back home.

I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed by the clutter in the house for the past couple of days. It's almost too much to tackle, but after my desk makeover at work this past week, I'm really feeling like decluttering is something that I need to do in all aspects of life, you know?

We're also shooting to avoid eating out or getting takeout for this whole week since we did it twice last week. And since the food is always so high sodium and high fat.

I was looking at Shelli just now and flashed back to when we adopted her, how overwhelmed I was about having to take care of her and how needy she was when she was so little. But then she'd crawl into my lap and fall asleep sprawled out and I would just feel so blessed that she was there. And now, I can't imagine life without her. Things wouldn't be the same. Even if she does fling herself at the wall in the middle of the night when a car passes by the house and the headlights shine on our wall. hehe;)

Sore Feet, Blisters, Worn-out Voice, etc...

2009-05-20T21:13:00.003-04:00

Sorry it's been so long. I've had a pretty busy week thus far. Today, I did a 4 mile walk with Anne, who's been an awesome motivator during my newfound motivation to lose weight and get healthy. However, I wore my new running shoes, and I ended up with blisters on both of my heels...guess I hadn't broken them in well enough. I even wore two pairs of socks to fit my shoes more snugly.

Here's a pic of my lunch today. It was really good!

It's brown rice, taco sauce, onion, frozen mixed veggies, and a garden burger. Yum!!

Now, it's time to chill and watch Criminal Minds and veg some:)

Things I've Come to Value in a Friendship

2009-05-12T20:29:00.002-04:00

Trustworthiness. Loyalty.

MAAAAA

2009-05-10T22:16:00.004-04:00

My mom is the greatest. There's not much else to say. I've done all of the sappy stuff (although not today because today was time for laughter and fun (usually at the people around us's expense...)) already, so we'll leave that at that. My mom's a total trip, and, once I got past the teenage "my-parents-are-stupid" phase, I realized that I had a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler mom than any of my friends! So, Ma, as always, you're the greatest, and I'm glad we're all BFF and stuff...and I love ya:)

I leave you with a bag of yummy candy. Enjoy the nomnoms. Srsly. Okbai.

Graduation Day (for Some of Us...)

2009-05-09T15:03:00.006-04:00

Today has been a good day. We went up to Charlotte for breakfast with Mom and Dad, stayed to watch The Soup, and then came home and Joey did the lawn while I spent thirty minutes with Billy Blanks kicking my butt!! Lunch today was super healthy and fabulous!

This is the rest of my broccoli with garlic sauce from last night. I didn't feel like having too many carbs, so I didn't have any rice and just ate this as it was. Yumminess! I also refrained from eating all of the sauce left pooled in the bottom and poured it into a container to put in the fridge for something else later.

And this is:

1/2 small flour tortilla
1 wedge Laughing Cow Light Cheese
1 spoonful of Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic Hummus
seven baby carrots

Man, this was fantastic! And I'm left feeling full, but not stuffed and pretty happy with myself. I may have a salad and an apple with PB later, but nothing too heavy because we're going to a shindig for dinner!

Today is the first day in a while where I really feel like things are pretty good. I think that making the effort (finally) to take care of myself has been a big player in that, as has the natural relief of finishing the semester. I know that the summer class will be hectic, but I think I'll be good because Native American Lit is absolutely my favorite genre of ethnic literature.

But I do think that I'm going to have to work very hard to make sure that I don't get too scattered and overwhelmed this fall. I feel like I can do it. Today is a good day. I'm surfing the net and Joey is napping (he definitely DESERVES it) !!

An Apple A Day...

2009-05-07T22:31:00.003-04:00

Is really tasty. Until you get tired of apples. After two bags full, you may get tired of them. And then, an apple a day is not all that tasty.

I need to look at a lunar calendar. I hope the full moon has already passed. If it's just now coming, that's going to be really crappy.

Yep.

My Mom is the Bomb:)

2009-05-06T22:04:00.002-04:00

How cute is this?? It arrived in the mail today from Mom and Dad. Thankfully, Joey doesn't think he'll remember to use it, so that means it's MINEMINEMINE ALL MINE!!!! Even though the message is probably more a propos for Joey than me. It definitely brightened up my otherwise crappy day.

Cinco De Mayo!!

2009-05-05T19:36:00.003-04:00

HOW yummy does that look?? That was my dinner tonight:

1 1/2 cups brown rice
1 cup Great Value Medium chunky salsa
1/3 cup black beans
small sprinkle of taco blend cheese
garlic powder
onion powder
crushed red pepper flake

It was fantastic! Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

FREEDOM!!

2009-05-04T21:56:00.002-04:00

For two weeks, at least. I just sent in my last paper for the semester, so I'm officially ALL DONE for my first graduate semester at ECU!! I also got my big paper back (the one for Cultural Studies) and I got an A. Holy cow, I wasn't expecting that!

Of course, two weeks isn't that long, and then Summer Session 1 rolls around and I'm taking Native American Lit. I'm really very excited about taking a course over the summer. I wish I'd had the forethought to sign up for two classes so that I could be halfway done with the program by the end of the year, but I also don't want it to go too fast lest I lose the joy of the process.

I'm also a little conflicted right now with things in my life that don't bring me joy and what I need to do about that....whether it be wait it out or what. I don't know.

Anyway...I've got to give Joey the computer now so he can work on his research now that I've finished mine. Good night, everyone!

Shelli, Shelli, Shelli....

2009-05-03T18:52:00.004-04:00

She scared us to death last night; apparently, one of the neighborhood cats was taunting her (seriously), and she lunged at the window, causing such a loud noise that we thought someone was trying to break into the house. Joey found her on the back of the chair, looking out the window, puffed up and hissing like crazy.

Here is miss predator looking innocent...

And here is miss predator wreaking havoc on the camera strap...

Knitting has been sparse lately, mostly due to an unpleasant case of tendinitis in my left wrist, that's just now starting to clear up. I worked on this some during our time at church this morning. It's a scarf for my MIL's birthday!

We took another nap today; I feel like I'm finally starting to get caught up on sleep entirely, and it feels really good. It's nice to just slow down every once in a while and let things be what they are and stop worrying so much about trying to please everyone.

Up All Night and Nursing a Sunburn:(

2009-05-02T21:06:00.004-04:00

It's been a very busy couple of days, gosh. Yesterday, we went right to the studio after work for some recording. We'll probably have to go back to work on it again because we got started on the background vocals later than anticipated and tried to add in some new stuff. However, I got some knitting time in!

Then, we went to see a Rolling Stones Tribute concert for charity that one of our friends, Nicolette Emanuelle, was featured in. Twenty local bands played Stones songs; she sang "Angie," and did an awesome job, and she had the Rolling Stones logo glued on her back in sequins (one at a time)...it was freakin' FANTASTIC. Anyway, she's moving to Portland tomorrow, so we wanted to get a chance to see her perform again before she left. We stayed until after 2, when everything ended so that we could say goodbye.

We got home around 3, and I woke up at 7:30 (the alarm was set for 9:30, bummer) because Shannon's final track meet of her college career was today. We followed her over there and hung out with her parents and watched her fly through the air several times. It always amazes me that I have a friend who can do something cool like that. She's only got a few days of exams and presentations and then she'll be graduating next week. It takes me back to graduating from college...it all happened so fast that it felt like a blur, walking, taking pictures with my professors. I don't think it really sunk in until we were on our way to Florida (for a cruise) that I realized that life would never be the same. But, you know, I don't wish to go back there like I used to.

I ate pretty healthily today! Breakfast was a bowl of oatmeal with some frozen/freezerburnt berries:

Then, I figured that we'd probably be hungry once we got to the stadium, so we packed for the occasion:

These Odwalla Bars are *really* good. I had the super protein bar, which was chewy, cakey, and fruity. It was very dense, and it stayed with me from 11:30 to 3, with most of that being sitting in the sun, which is pretty draining. I'll definitely be interested to see if we could fit these into the budget somehow.

After we got home, I had a snack of some strawberries, five or six bagel chips, and a wedge of Laughing Cow Light Cheese. Lunch was a HUUUUUGE salad, some leftovers from a visit from West Coast Life to our office yesterday (thanks!!). I had to take it home or it would have wilted left over the weekend, and who wants to waste perfectly good salad? It had romaine lettuce, field greens, tomatoes, red onions, carrots and purple cabbage, black olives, and pepperoncini (I also added two more pepperoncini...I have this sick love with burning my butthole off). I sprinkled about 1/2 oz of cheese on top and used some fat free Caesar Italian dressing, and it was fabulous!!

Then, after our nap, we did our weekly Chinese meal; I had an apple while Joey was going to get the food, and then I had some broccoli with garlic sauce (about 2 cups) with 2 cups of white rice. I know, white grains are the devil, but I really love them with my Chinese food. Tomorrow, when I have the rest, I'll have it with brown rice.

So, there you have it folks. I'm nursing some sunburned arms and shins, which I'll hit with lotion again before bed (I'm psycho about skin cancer). But, it's been a really nice day, honestly!

FO: Baby Stuff!!

2009-04-30T19:52:00.004-04:00

Ta Da!!!
I give you booties...

Scratch Mitts....

And a baby hat!!
.

These were done for a friend's baby shower that I (unfortunately) had to miss; I'm sure the festivities were grand, but I was there in spirit, nonetheless. These were hodge-podges of patterns that I found on Ravelry, so I don't really have any specs to post at all. They were made with Bernat Softee Baby yarn in blue (she's having a boy) and took me about two weeks to finish up (I did both scratch mitts in a couple of hours). The booties were probably the most challenging; it was the first time I'd dealt with short rows at length and it was definitely the first time I'd seen a sock/bootie pattern that started from the ball of the foot, rather than the cuff or the toe. I'd make them again, but they ended up being much too big, I think...the pattern really didn't give a good idea of what size they would end up being.

We went to Trader Joe's today and I stocked up on Tofu and tempeh. I also discovered that their Gimme Lean veggie sausage is a dollar cheaper than Wal Mart, and their Laughing Cow wedges are TWO DOLLARS cheaper!! Yeah buddy! I got a pound of the veggie sausage (who knows what I'll make with that...it's just so freaking good) and one box of the cheese wedges. I've never had them before, but I'm going to try to incorporate them into my new eating plan.

Also....the paper has left the building!....ok, not really, but I did get it sent to my prof via Blackboard. It ended up being eleven pages and I used ten sources, so I feel as thought I had the right ratio of research to writing. However, I'm a little concerned that I've still missed the mark regarding what a cultural studies analysis should be. I am grateful, though, because the prof said that he wasn't expecting perfection, just progress, and he was really looking for a draft of something that we could continue to work with in hopes of eventually publishing or presenting at a conference. With that in mind, I feel like I've probably done an adequate job.

Just one more paper and then I get a couple of weeks off before I start Native American Literature! I'll need to do some online continuing ed for my insurance license before my birthday, so I may try to squeeze that in there to get it over with, but for the most part, I'm going to sit back and read books that I want to read for pleasure, read magazines, relax, exercise, and stop feeling guilty for never having enough time to devote to what I love.

For now, though, I'm shutting my brain off for the night and decompressing before bed:)

On Writing?

2009-04-29T19:45:00.002-04:00

Sorry Stevie;)...(good ol' Stephen King for those of you who think I'm insane). I just finished writing the bulk of the body of my paper for Cultural Studies and, while I'm not entirely sure that it's exactly what the prof wants to see, I am happy about the subject matter that I chose and I feel like I did a relatively decent job of discussing the idea of identities among conservative Christians in light of the environmentalist movement and the emerging Creation Care movement that's becoming very prevalent among Christians in my age group who are, by and large, disillusioned with the "status quo."

I also spent some time today reading the Eat Live Run blog. I highly recommend it if you're looking for a new blog. It's interesting, entertaining, and informative, and I was also incredibly awed by the writer's great strength and perspective in the (veryvery) recent loss of her brother in a tragic accident. Drop by there and show her some love if you get a chance. It gave me some great perspective today on my own life, on how all-or-nothing I can be, on how I let one mistake ruin my entire day or sabotage everything that I'm trying to do. I also have GOT to try that breakfast cookie recipe that she makes. It looks AWESOME!!

I promise, FO products are coming...Joey took them on his super-snazzy DSLR and they're going to be huuuuuge, so he's going to have to download them and then reduce the size of the file so that I can post them, but I ended up being pretty satisfied with the results.

And, I survived my yearly physical without tears. And the phlebotomist was awesome. I don't even have a bruise...but she did have to use a butterfly needle and she did comment on how hard my veins are to find. Whatever...she was nice and I hardly felt the stick.

I'm newly focused on personal wellness these days. I think it's coming from the fact that my attentions are about to be pared down to being able to focus on it again (read: school will be over and I'll have a small window before it starts back up for SS1). I'm just going to try to be easier on myself so I don't go postal when I make a mistake.

Getting Back to Good

2009-04-25T08:46:00.002-04:00

I know I've already posted this pic before, but I thought it was really good and I like snakes. Lots of things are happening right now, most of them really good. I think I'm finally ready for that. The semester is almost over...I have one discussion and two papers left to do and then I get a few days off before I start my summer class. I wish that I had registered for two summer classes, because that would leave me halfway done with my degree, but I didn't know if we'd be able to handle it fiscally, so I may just have to push it really hard next semester and see if I can get it done. All of the sudden, I really have the urge to work on this very seriously.

I finished my knitting gift, so FO pics will come tomorrow after I've delivered it to the recipient. I've got some more stuff to do relatively quickly, so I'll have to get started on it today. Shelli is acting like a total crackhead since she was alone all day yesterday. We went to Inman for my grandma's 80th birthday party. Mema so doesn't seem 80. She's so active!

I hit the Goodwill yesterday looking for vintage-looking t-shirts and bohemian-looking stuff. I'm kind of sick of dressing for how I think I should look or how I think other people want me to look. So, I'm not doing that anymore. Over it.

The Knitting Files, Among Other Things...

2009-04-19T21:49:00.002-04:00

I've been working like a madwoman on some gifts for an upcoming baby shower (I can't post pictures yet b/c the blog simultaneously uploads to Facebook and the recipient is a Facebook friend!!). However, FO pics will be posted over next weekend, I suppose. I've learned to do some new things and, let's just say that I may get brave enough to give socks a try soon.

I forgot how much I enjoy the simple act of knitting, of paying attention to each stitch and really enjoying the process of creating something (hopefully) beautiful and knowing that I'm capable of making something good. I also absolutely love how much there is to learn just from choosing a simple project. I chose to make something that I've never tried before, and while it got off to a rough start and was frustrating to begin with, to see the final result and see that I was really capable of learning by doing, is an awesome thing. To those of you who read who don't have a creative hobby, I really recommend finding something that you find something crafty to do; there's something very self-validating about being passionate about creating something and having it turn out rather well.

It's been a rough weekend in some aspects; I've been feeling pretty dissatisfied with myself lately. Of course it's not a typical week if I don't have a healthy dose of self-loathing, that I'm not doing enough, or doing too much, or not doing enough of the right things and doing too much of the wrong things, or that I'm too lazy, or that I feel stagnant, or that I'm angry at my own lack of discipline and my ever-waning sense of self-direction or level of comfort with who I am or how I am. In short, another serious identity crisis weekend. Anyway, after a coffee date with Joey and some good time spent yesterday evening going for a drive out in the country, I do feel a little bit better today.

I think that I'm sometimes excessively hard on myself...it's got to be all or nothing with me. If I mess up with what I'm eating during the day, I lose the motivation to continue to try to eat healthily. If I end up biting one fingernail, I think that I might as well bite the rest of them off....every tiny mistake seems to be a grevious sin for which there is no remedy. Or, I set these outrageous goals for myself and then get very angry at myself when I can't live up to them at a hundred percent all of the time.

This week, I'm going to try to be a little less hard on myself and just go through the week and examine where I do that the most and see what I can do about it.

Out of Balance.

2009-04-15T18:52:00.002-04:00

That's how I'm feeling right now. Things that I've planned to do and hoped to do earlier in the year, I've been too lazy to do. I'm stalled, and now I'm looking back and getting mad at myself as if that's going to do much good.

So, here I am. I planned to lose weight faster than this. I planned to learn self-discipline. I planned to be more diligent with my schoolwork. I planned to work on the house more.

How disappointing.

Ugly Ducklings and Beautiful Swans...

2009-04-10T18:57:00.004-04:00

It's been a different week, for sure. I was more efficient at work, which is good, but I'm having trouble keeping everything else in balance for some reason....my eating, my schoolwork, my use of time. I just kind of let it go this week, which is a bummer. That new tattoo is going to take FOREVER at the rate I'm going. I'm back down from eight pounds lost to five now because of the beach trip and my continued lack of attention to what I'm shoving in my face:(. I feel like I need to just take a week and get everything back in order. I wish I had the time to take a week off work and do that, but I know I'll need that time later.

Sunday is Easter...good time to reflect on our faith and just how high the cost of our redemption. I get to sing with two seriously talented people Sunday too, which I'm pretty psyched about. To even get asked to do a trio with them was pretty awesome, so I'm looking forward to that fun. And, my mother in law (who is fantastically cool....seriously...I feel really bad for those of you who don't get along with your MIL, because mine is too awesome) is making sausage balls, which were one of my favorite treats pre-vegetarianism, but she's going to get some veggie sausage crumbles and make sausages balls that are MEAT FREE for me!! Yay!!! How thoughtful is that?

I've been in a mood for a lot of today...I'm not sure why. Hopefully it'll go away by tomorrow. I hate being in moods over the weekend.

That's all for now...hopefully I'll have something a little more substantive over the weekend...

Holy Cow, I Do Still Exist!

2009-03-30T21:33:00.003-04:00

Okay...so, schoolwork is done for the day and I can actually write a blog and not feel insanely guilty that I'm not doing something that I should. Furthermore, I have already made mine and Joey's lunches for the next TWO days. And, I'm not dressing up tomorrow, so all that's left is to get my gym clothes ready for after work tomorrow. Maybe I'm finally catching up?

We were on an "internet cleanse" for the last part of last week as we didn't have wireless access in the beach condo where we stayed from Wednesday-Sunday. My internet access was limited to a Starbucks (blech) in Myrtle Beach after Joey got his assignment sent off. It was actually pretty nice to get away from the constant access to realtime information and contact with everyone else. I don't even think I got a phone call while I was there, which was nice since I cringe whenever I hear my phone ring these days.

We got to go to Alligator Adventure, which is always a treat, although I will say that now, after having read so much on animal rights these days, I did find myself noticing how small some of the animal enclosures seemed to be and I don't really know that I'm okay with that, honestly. But, a good time was had by all!

We're going RAW for the next few days to make up for how poorly we ate over the vacation. That was one area where I was disappointed in myself; it sucks to leave vacation feeling bad for how much you've eaten. It kind of cheapens the joy of the trip. But, here we are, back at home, back on track, and except for a persistently sore throat which just developed about an hour ago (pleasepleasepleaseplease don't let me be getting sick!), I think that all seems to be well!

Here are a few pics from the trip:

I'm No Superman...

2009-03-22T18:34:00.003-04:00

I wish I could have blown the above quote up a little; it's from Abraham Lincoln. It amazes me how much animal compassion insight we never read about in the history books. Did you know that Mark Twain was a vegetarian?

I spent a lot of time talking to Joey yesterday about my views on animal rights and Scriptural references to support them (and also Scriptural references that called them into question). I have made peace now with being able to stand up for animal rights and feel as though I'm not being a "bad Christian" for it. I'm glad to finally be comfortable in that. I think that there's room for a ministry to be made out of compassion for Creation.

This weekend was totally awesome. I got a half day Friday and we went out to UNCC to see Shannon fly through the air during the pole vault. It was really neat to see, even if the girls did have to wait two hours after their designated start time. There was sun, there was fun, and we capped it off with a great Mexican dinner to celebrate James's NEW JOB!!!

Yesterday, I had coffee with two friends from high school. Ten years really gives us all perspective, I think. It's funny how fast the time goes, though.

Snoopies on the Mantle...

2009-03-18T20:16:00.002-04:00

I have four Snoopies on my mantle. I love Snoopy, and one of the benefits of working in life insurance is that there's always something nice coming from Met Life. Three of my Snoopies are from them, and the other is a Christmas Snoopy from Hallmark that my dear friend Shannon gave me for Christmas!

On another happy note, almost everyone I've been praying for to find a job has found one! That's a big relief; it's so hard to find work these days, and when you are offered something, you've got to take it, no matter how high your qualifications.

I'm also feeling like, eventually, I'll probably go vegan. I've been doing a lot of reading and have found it enlightening. Painful to read and see, yes, but life changing. I'm more and more thankful for the Christian Vegetarian Association every day...that there are people out there who share my religious beliefs who also feel that vegetarianism is a good way to be a proper steward of God's Creation. A lot of what I've read has also made me love and appreciate Shelli more and more, and has left me wondering what I can do to help stop the euthanasia of companion animals in shelters. Shelli is spayed, and she was adopted, not "purchased" from a breeder, so we've done our part in that respect, but I want to do more.

Smiles:)

2009-03-15T20:37:00.004-04:00

Here are a few amusing pictures from the last couple of weekends....one is a Finished-Object type of photo:Shelli is slowly warming up to Aunt Shannon and Uncle James! A couple of weeks ago, she laid on Shannon's lap, and last night, she let James pet her for quite some time before getting irritated!

Unfortunately, the above is a FO post of a hat that I intended for myself but grossly underestimated the gauge, and ended up with a tiny hat that looked absolutely RIDICULOUS on James, therefore making it all the more hilarious that he was so thrilled to model it for us!

It was an AWESOME weekend. Friday night was laid back...we went to the gun show Saturday and spent the whole day with Shannon and James (I think some sort of road trip may be in order after Shannon graduates!!).

On Tuesday, I'm getting rid of something that I've been holding on to since December 2007: my hair. I've been growing it out for Locks of Love since then, and now I'm relatively certain that I have enough to donate and am going to get it cut *short*!!. I'm really excited, because I'm so tired of having a sweaty neck and it taking 10 minutes for my hair to dry.

I've also lost seven pounds thus far...three more and I get to have a shopping spree at the Salvation Army!! And thirteen more and I'll get my next tattoo!

Last night, James wanted to make meatball subs, and Joey and he found vegetarian sausage crumbles, which Joey turned into fabulous meatballs. I'm growing more comfortable about being a vegetarian every day...I'm really starting to feel that, eventually, I may give up eggs and cheese and go fully vegan. I don't know...just a gut feeling.

I'm looking forward to what looks like it will be a pretty good week.

Out of the Meat Locker

2009-03-11T19:03:00.002-04:00

Yep, I said it. It's been a month as of today that I've been without eating meat. Believe it or not, I really haven't missed it like I thought I would. It all started when Lady died...and I started thinking about how, from a Christian standpoint, we only think about sin's ramifications on us. We never think about the innocent victims....God's Creation, which had no voice when we decided to separate ourselves from God through that first sin.

So, yes, I've become a vegetarian for religious and ethical reasons. And no, I don't expect you to follow suit. I don't think it's a requirement to be a good Christian. But I do think that it's a respectable decision for a Christian to make, if he or she so chooses. On a personal level, I think it's another way for me to be more consistent as a Christian and as a caring individual.

Of course, the health benefits are also a fantastic reason!

So, here's your faithful blogger:

Everyday Learning...

2009-03-08T19:26:00.002-04:00

Friendship is very rewarding. I think that there have been times in my life where I didn't appreciate it as much as I do now. We've got such a good group of people surrounding us, and it makes such a difference in my ability to make it through the day. We had friends over for an early dinner tonight with their two kids, and it was so much fun...I was sad that they had to leave. Shelli also did really well; she let the kids pet her and everything...it was awesome!

As much as I feel as though I could live as a hermit, I know that I couldn't.

It's funny how we learn things about ourselves constantly.

Neglectful Blogger...

2009-03-02T20:43:00.002-05:00

I'm starting to be remiss on the pictures; sorry about that. I can't ever remember to take my camera with me....although I do have a cute one from this weekend that I'll try to get up soon.

So, I'll be taking Shannon's advice for my 5K training; I figure that she probably knows what she's doing since she's a track star and whatnot;).

I've decided that I have to free up some of my knitting needles, so I'm working to get my many projects done so that I can start some new stuff.

We bought Shelli a Booda cat box today. Holy crap, is that thing huge....it's got a little tunnel leading up to the litterbox that's this huge dome and is totally enclosed. And, she really loves it already, which is nice. Anything we can do to help keep us pee free!

A boring start to the week, I know. It's fine with me...there's too much drama these days as it is.

Slim-Down Saturday Update, Week 3

2009-02-28T11:19:00.002-05:00

So, the talley for this past two weeks is 5.0 pounds. I don't really know how, but I'm thankful. I made it to the gym on Tuesday and today. It ended up being a very stressful week, although not NEARLY as bad as last week. I really made progress in my 5K training this week too, which made me feel good. I'm running based on distance now and not based on time. To me, it's easier to look at the little lights around the virtual, 1/4 mile track than it is to watch the seconds tick by. I almost made it a whole quarter mile at once. My goal for my next running session is to run 1/4 mile, then walk 1/4 mile, run 1/4 mile, and so forth until I get to two miles. I'll just go from there!

The rest of the day will be schoolwork, schoolwork, schoolwork, cleaning, and then brinner:).

Slim-Down Saturday Update

2009-02-21T07:56:00.002-05:00

Sadly, it's not been a good week. I couldn't get my head in the game this week. But, after some good time spent Friday getting things back in order, I think this week is going to be much, much better!!

So, goals for this week:

1. Get to the gym tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
2. Have one raw food day this week.
3. Stay away from the crap in the office

I think that's probably reasonable for this week. I don't want to overdo things; I did that this past week and it didn't go well.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me this week. Things are starting to even out, finally, I think.

An Ode to Joey

2009-02-16T10:12:00.002-05:00

That pic is from this morning. How cute is it....Shelli curled up and wanted to be under the covers. She loves her daddy much more than her mommy, I'm afraid, but I'm not nearly as mad as I pretend to be about it.

I had a panic attack this morning. Like, full-on, breathing shallow, shaking, freaking out attack. Joey took very good care of me. He made me breakfast, got me set up to do my schoolwork, and reminded me that everything is okay. That's a pretty awesome husband right there.

I finished the front side of the memorial pillow for Vic and Carol last night; I'll probably start on the other side today. I've got a 5 page paper due for my Indigenous Literatures course, but I'm not too worried about it since I'm interested in the subject material (that always helps).

WIP Update: Memorial Pillow

2009-02-15T20:46:00.002-05:00

What's better than an entire pound of yarn?

Not much, honestly. I'm making a memorial pillow for my in-laws for the loss of Lady. I'm not going to post any more photos until I'm done, but below is the start of the first side. Sorry for the crappy lighting; it was already dark outside when I started taking pictures.

It's been not the greatest of days, to be truthful. I've spent too much time today being sad over what I lack rather than remembering how much I'm blessed.

I need a little freedom right now; I'd really like for Joey and I to go camping or something...just get out in the quiet and forget about all of the "stuff" that fills up everyday life. There's just so much of it.

Slim Down Saturday: Valentine's Edition:)

2009-02-14T18:34:00.002-05:00

First, a tribut above to my two wonderful Valentines on this day of love:).

Then, a lovely shot of what I see every morning as I'm sitting at my desk at work.

Okay, now to the real meat of the post; as you all know, as I've (ashamedly) told you, I have forty pounds to lose. I'm pretty disappointed in myself, since my first job was as a receptionist at Weight Watchers which I kept for seven years. Prior to that, I lost 35 pounds during the summer before I went into the ninth grade, so I already know what I need to be doing.

There's something about getting a little older that makes you start to slow down and get complacent, and I really hate that. So, Saturdays will be my "weekend update" of my continuing journey to get back down to a weight where I'm comfortable and feel much more fit.

I'm training for a 5K in April, so that will help some, although I've hit a wall the past couple of weeks, which one of my cowkers told me to "suck it up and get over it." I wish she was my personal trainer, because I'd probably already be where I need to be. I've also told myself that I my second tattoo will be my reward for losting 20 pounds, the halfway point, and I want it so badly that I think it'll be a pretty good incentive.

So, I'm not going to post what my actual weight is, until I get to where I want to be, because I'm a little ashamed of that, but I will post weekly updates regarding how much I've lost and what I've done that week (exercise, eating, recipes, etc).

My goals for this next week are:

Get to the gym at least five times (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and either Saturday or Sunday).
Avoid whatever junk food is brought into the office next week.
Pack a well-balanced, bento-style lunch every week day.

Here's my most recent lunch purchase:

It's my bento lunch set!! From Ichiban Kan!! The bag is adorable! Here's my lunch from Friday:

Larger container: Tofu steak from Mizuho, bean sprouts and carrots, edemame
Smaller container: two corn tortillas (we were out of rice).

So, join me on my journey. I'm going to be as up-front as I can possibly be without humiliating myself;).

First Edition: Thrifty Thursdays: Week One, on Living Smaller...

2009-02-12T10:29:00.005-05:00

This is our home. Well, now there's a privacy fence and some of the bushes have died, but that's not the point. Our home is 1100 square feet...talk about living small! This isn't by far the smallest home that Joey and I have lived in; our first apartment was less than 500 square feet, and our second was just at 1000. However, for a few years before we bought this house, we lived with Joey's parents, and they have a considerably larger home, and we got accustomed to having room, and as a result, we collected waaaaaaaaaay too much stuff.

Stuff has been the bane of our existence for as long as we've known each other; we're both packrats by nature, and together we've amassed piles and piles of useless junk (not to mention the piles of stuff I left at my parents' house before I moved out).

So, a major "thrifty" focus for us over the next couple of months is getting rid of "stuff." We began this process last year and started with a yard sale in April, which netted us almost $200. We held a second one at the beginning of November, and weren't quite so successful, but we were able to get rid of a lot of unwanted items. We'll be doing another one in April of this year, and we figure that we'll continue the trend until we've pared down to things that are relatively essential to us.

Also, any money earned can go toward debt retirement, toward the car and toward tuition. Despite an unexpected setback (we'll probably need to get a new roof this year), we still feel as though we can get the card paid off and handle my summer and fall tuition.

RIP, Dear Sweet Lady...

2009-02-11T20:30:00.002-05:00

She was ten years old, and she was my husband's grandma's dog. His grandma passed away four years ago almost. Now, Lady is with her in Heaven. She was a beautiful, sweet friend.

Such is life, I suppose. They are with us for much too short of a time. They, too, were punished because of our original sin, and I feel that guilt every time we say goodbye...honestly, every time I see one of God's creatures hit on the side of the road. I know that most fundamentalist preachers will tell you that they aren't as important, and I do understand that, but I also believe in our responsibility to care for all creatures, especially those who had no control over what our sin did to them.

In memory, since I'm grieving all over again today, here's a picture of my sunshine, Puss, who passed away on Dec. 7th, 2007:

Blog Modifications/Upgrades, etc

2009-02-10T14:01:00.004-05:00

Joey and me on our private balcony, May 2008

So, in reading some other blogs here and there over the past few days, I've come to realize that my blog isn't nearly as organized or purposeful enough. I mean, you know that my overarching themes/subjects are frugality, sustainability, green living, knitting, grad school, and my own personal psychoses, yes? But I'm thinking that it would probably help me more to make necessary changes in my life by actually being accountable for them on the blog. So, here are some rough ideas as to how I intend to "mix it up" per se...

1. I need to lose forty pounds. If I can lose that, I'll be back to where I was when I got married (which wasn't that long ago, and I'm not that old) and I don't think that's an unreasonable goal. I've decided that I'll allow myself to go on a (thrift-store) shopping spree once I lose ten. My next tattoo will be my reward to myself for twenty pounds (I figured that was a fitting motivational tool since I want it so badly). So, I'm probably going to take one day a week to post updates on my fitness/weight loss goals. It'll be the same day each week...whatever day I can come up with a "catchy" title for;).

2. Frugality and personal finance will also take a much more prominent position on the blog. Joey and I are in a position right now for which we should be very grateful. I have a stable job with decent benefits. We are both able to go to school right now so that we can ultimately pursue our dreams. We have no debt other than the house, car, and a small student loan. We can afford to eat out once a week. But, we've set some pretty aggressive fiscal goals for the year (paying my tuition without any loans and paying off the car), so I want the continuing journey toward frugality that we're working on to be a focal point of the blog.

3. I'm going to post more pictures of my knitting works in progress and finished objects. Bear in mind, this will not be a knit blog. While I love to read them, I don't have nearly enough money to use the expensive fibers that they do, so you're not going to read about any exotic and beautiful yarns here. I can afford Red Heart, Bernat, Caron, Sugar n' Cream, and Hobby Lobby's I Love This Yarn!, so that's what you're going to get from me. If I'm lucky, you'll get a little Lion Brand Wool-Eeze and some Patons Classic Merino here and there. But, I do knit, I do love it, and I do want to share it with my faithful readers (all three of you!).

4. I'm probably going to have to back off the green/sustainable living portion for a while. I will attempt a container garden (on a relatively small scale) this spring/summer, but beyond that, just know that we're always working toward conservation of any type to the best of our ability, but I'm not in a position fiscally to buy only free trade, organic, etc. We've got to do the best we can where we can.

5. Once a week, I'm going to do a "Blog Round-Up" of posts I've found interesting from the other blogs that I follow. There are too many good things out there for me to let them stay in the dark to you, my readers.

I guess, in short, I've decided to get a little more serious about this whole thing so that it's a little more interesting and involved. Yay for the blog future!

Consumer Diet Update, Etc.

2009-02-07T10:24:00.003-05:00

Me behind a stone monument we found on one of the trails on Morrow Mountain

I spent most of my morning doing schoolwork; apparently, Saturday morning really is the best day for this. I've gotten everything but part of my reading done for Cultural Studies, and I've read so many things this week that have changed my outlook on the "cultural products" that we consume and how corporations and mass culture producers seek to shape us to their whims rather than letting us realize that we do have free choice to accept or reject what we want to consume. It's definitely made me rethink the concept of the tv diet and we'll probably revisit that within the next few weeks.

The consumer diet goes well; other than food purchases and toiletries, we've made no purchases at all in the month of February. I suspect that we'll get through this fairly easily as February is a short month and we're so busy that we don't really have time to go shopping anyway.

I spent a lot of time journaling yesterday, working through some things that I'm carrying, personal baggage and whatnot, and I feel like I'm (hopefully) starting to at least approach the other side of the most recent identity crisis that I've been dealing with for the past week or so. I'm trying to reconcile my present-day self with the "me" of ten years ago, seeing what about myself I wish that I had kept and trying to revive it and seeing what I didn't like then that I continue to do and trying to stop those things. It's funny how you can simultaneously change so much and also not change at all.

I'm feeling like very little of this makes sense, and I apologize for that, but I also feel like good things are happening, so if nothing else, that's making this day better:). Tonight will be spent reading the last two chapters of one of my Cultural Studies books and trying to make a thoughtful post or two on that before getting ready for the always-busy Sunday activities.

Here's a pretty good picture of relaxation for you:

The View from the Mountain...

2009-02-04T10:51:00.004-05:00

Lake Tillery as viewed from the top of Morrow Mountain

Today has been quite the frustrating day, beginning with the horrible weather that left me awake at 3:30 and fretting about Joey getting to Wake Forest safely, followed by the roads not having been salted at all and not being safe, to my needing to take a personal day due to the weather, to feeling guilty because I had to do such.

So, Joey is fine; he got to work safely. The roads have just started to clear out here. And I had the day to use, so I really shouldn't feel guilty for using it. I've been trying to do schoolwork so that I'm making the best use of my time. I watched a documentary on the indigenous people of Hawai'i and their building a canoe out of traditional materials and using it to sail to Alaska and along the western coast of Alaska, meeting with indigenous people of those areas and sharing their cultures together. It was incredible. Watching things like that really bring home to me that I'm right in the center of God's will with this program. Cultures must be preserved and respected, not discarded and discouraged. Surely we don't want the rest of the world to be lazy, obese, lacking self-motivation, and unhealthy like we are?

So, anyway....thus brings me back to my feeling of restlessness today....whenever I get to sit at home and have time to think to myself, especially when I'm already dealing with a negative emotion (guilt today), it makes me think about things in my life that I'm disliking and seeking to change...I guess you could say that it tosses me right back into my identity crisis, honestly.

My professor for my cultural studies class included an interesting quote from Frost when he was reacting to our papers:

“My object in living is to unite

My avocation and my vocation”

How do we do this? I think that everyone can agree that this is true; we spend our lives searching for a livelihood that will let us do what we love to do all day. I feel like, the longer we go without being able to do that, the sadder we become. That emotion exudes from us and can make us difficult people to befriend. I've seen the people who struggle through each day hating what they do; they are unhappy people, they're unfulfilled. Obviously, God intended for us to work (and I mean that in more loose terms than the "corporate, white-suit, 9-5 kind of thing...in my opinion, stay at home moms are probably some of the hardest workers out there), but I don't believe that it was part of God's divine "punishment" that we are to hate every moment of what we do. He's given us joys and desires, talents and natural bents toward certain things. I have to believe that all of these things are providential and that He intends for us to enjoy our every day life.

Is all of this some diatribe to how much I hate my job? Absolutely not. I love where I work, I love the people I work with, and I enjoy getting to make a difference in the small way that I can. However, it's no secret that I'm going to graduate school so that I can teach on a college level eventually because literature is where my heart really is. Learning is where my heart is. I can't change that. I'm disappointed in how little I embrace it, however. Yesterday, I intended to cut the tv off and spend the whole evening reading, but I ended up piled up in front of the tv with my dinner and the laptop until I went to bed. I guess I'm angry with myself for not taking greater advantage of what I'm being allowed to do by going to school. I should be more grateful for it.

Which, of course, brings me to the identity crisis of becoming the person that I want to be. I always feel like that person is fighting with the person I've let myself become...the lazy person, the ungrateful person, the person who can't handle more than one or two responsibilities per week. I've been a busy person before; I was super-busy in college, going to school full-time, working part-time, and still staying active at church. Now, it seems like I'm a zombie the moment I hit the door, further numbing my mind with endless amounts of reruns. Who really wants to live that way when they think about it honestly?

One of my goals for the year was to figure out a way to sell my craft. I love to knit. I love what I create. I love it enough that I wrote a cultural studies paper on the knitting culture. That's a goal that I'm very serious about achieving.

Ah, for days of idle thought;).

Crossroads.

2009-02-02T09:43:00.002-05:00

Those are mine and Joey's footprints on the beach at Grand Turk. I like the picture because there are a few prints that show where I turned back to take the picture...I think it's funny how life is that way....there are times where we push ahead and walk straight with purpose, but there are also times that we should "turn back in the sand," per se, and review what's brought us to this point....maybe to reflect and see if something needs to change.

I think I'm at that point right now. Nothing earth-shattering, no huge major life changes, but it's time for some reorganization, I think. Time for a change in outlook. Time for a shift in priorities and time to refocus on life. Time for a new outlook. Time to let go. There are things in my life that I've held on to for too long. Things I need to let go. Time for new.

I'm getting my hair cut at the end of the month; I've been growing it out since Dec 2007 for Locks of Love. It's going to be really short when it's all said and done. I think it'll be cleansing to get rid of it.

Sorry. I know that very little of this probably made sense. I just needed to put it out there.

Thoughts on Thinking

2009-01-31T14:03:00.002-05:00

I'm for it. Thanks, that is all. Of course I'm kidding....you know, being back in school has really reminded me how much fun it is to really think critically about things. It's funny how, when you leave the academic world and enter the corporate world, so much is devoted to knowledge of your duties, of your field, capability to handle processes quickly and efficiently and satisfy the customer. Less is devoted to critical thinking (with the exception of some industries, I'm sure). That's not to say that the corporate world is "dumb" or doesn't require as much; on the contrary, it requires a ton, but much of it is in terms of the concrete (making numbers work). Having been out of the academic realm for five years has let my brain "get soft," for lack of better term.

I'm (very) slowly getting the hang of things as far as school goes, and I'm starting to love it more and more every day. There's so much out there to be learned and explored, and I'm thrilled to be taking part in that adventure. Our first unit in the Indigenous Literatures course was about the indigenous people of Guatemala and the issues they have with their own culture and the atrocities that they suffered. One writer, Victor Montejo, actually wondered if his own culture was "interesting enough" or "worthy" to be written down. I just find that so amusing when viewed from the perspective of our culture where we record every event that happens to us (this blog included) because somehow, we think that we're all "special" enough that everyone should want to read what we have to say. And at the same time, we have people from another culture who are worried that their entire way of life is not "fascinating" (Montejo's term) enough to be written down for generations to come.

Now, I'm not planning to quit this blog in sympathy for the Mayan people, of course, because I love the outlet that it provides and I know that there are at least a few of you out there who for whatever reason are interested in reading what I have to say, but I think it's so important to keep things in perspective. Things that we think are earth-shattering may be nothing more than a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things. Maybe that would help us all to keep a better outlook on life.

I'm excited about our Super Bowl party tomorrow..we're having it at our friends' Robert and Tina's house and I'm going to make pigs in blankets and fried pickle chips!! Yum (and if you've never had fried pickles before, don't say a thing about it until you've tried it because I thought it was gross too, but once I tried one, I'll never be the same!!)

That's all for now; I'm hanging out on Blackboard conversing with my fellow students and watching Joey read for his class on Wednesday. Love to all.

2009-01-29T12:17:00.008-05:00

Shelli, Halloween 2007, dressed up like a biker chick..

So, these days, it seems like the only time I have to post is on lunch at work. Oh well, at least there is time at lunch. So, Joey and I are undertaking a pretty hefty frugal goal for the month of February as we really need to rebuild our bank account from the holiday season (during which it's very hard to be as frugal as one would like).

First, I've put myself on a yarn diet. I'm not going to buy any new yarn until my birthday, hopefully. That would give me six months of knitting out of my stash (of which there is plenty). I've got enough baby colors to do baby items, and I've got enough miscellaneous colors to do some nice accessories. So, maybe my birthday present to myself will be some yarn.

Then, for the entire month, Joey and I are going on a consumer diet. Twenty eight days of no spending (other than groceries, as one must have them to survive). We did it once before, sometime last year, but we weren't able to go the whole month. It's amazing how much the little expenses can totally rack up and snowball into much larger expenses. We've got a gift card for our Valentine's Day dinner, so we're covered there, and we really don't generally do gifts for each other, honestly (not because we don't want to, but because we've always been pretty frugal and as sappy as it sounds, we see the ability to pay our bills as a gift in and of itself).

We're also going to try to stick back to our $25 per week grocery budget, which means that, for the month of February, I have to limit myself to only tofu and edemame at Trader Joe's. Today, I spent thirteen dollars and change because they had some fabulous items that I thought would be good to try. I'm going to have to do some more cooking from scratch, etc.

The Bento Challenge is going well, although I have forgotten my camera for the past two days as I meant to take pictures of my bentos. Today's snack bento is especially cute, so I'm really bummed that I forgot my camera. I can already see a difference in my appetite and my ability to correctly judge portion sizes. I also ordered a bento lunch set from the Ichiban Kan store in San Francisco. Their prices are amazing. Shipping was a little steep (six bucks), but when you're getting an entire lunch box and drink bottle and bag set for eight bucks, the shipping is really worth it.

I made tempeh fried rice last night for inclusion in my bento (really easy, just some brown rice, mixed frozen veggies, a scrambled egg, 2 oz crumbled tempeh, and soy sauce and Chinese five spice powder). I should have added some onions, but I forgot. I also made forgotten vegetable kinpira again (with the leftover cabbage and broccoli stems), but I overdid it a little on the rice vinegar, so it was a little more tart than I'd prefer.

Joey injured himself yesterday; cut his finger while chopping cabbage. It probably needed stitches, but why pay $100 to sit in the ER for six or seven hours, only to be told that it's too late to put any stitches in it anyway. His parents came over and his dad helped him stop the bleeding and get it taped up. Poor baby:(...

So, that's all I've got for now. Be on the lookout in February for the progress in our Frugal Challenges. I'll be posting how much we spend on groceries each week as it comes!!

Weekend Review

2009-01-25T20:10:00.003-05:00

One of the guide dogs in-training that Joey photoed last month...

Between Cultural Studies and Indigenous Literature, I feel like I'm doing little else these days. I have a paper due tomorrow...my first paper in over five years. Holy Cow. I've already gotten it written, but I have to type it up, insert references, and format it. I haven't even had to think about MLA in five years. What if I'm not as good of a writer as I used to be? Ok...enough oself pity, definitely. I'll get it done.

Today, we got to take dinner to some friends' house who just had a baby a week and a half ago...he was such a cutie, honestly. He slept most of the time that we were there, and it was so nice to catch up. It's funny how much your life seems to change overnight when you have a child.

Well, that's the extent of my thoughtfulness for the evening. I plan to be in bed soon.

FO: Hubby's Alpaca Hat

2009-01-24T19:16:00.003-05:00

The life every PhD student wishes they had;)..

It's been quite a week; it snowed here on Monday night and the office was closed Tuesday (but the few and faithful were there....meaning that I made Joey take me to work and some friends made it in too). Monday night, before the snow started, we had a wonderful Italian dinner cooked by my favorite knitter-in-training, Shannon.

I made homemade veggie tempura on Tuesday night, which was tasty and relatively easy (if battering and frying anythingi can be easy).

But, the best part of the week was finishing Joey's hat!!

Pattern: A Hat Knit for a Boyfriend by Stephanie (who likes to knit, apparently^_^)

Yarn: Bernat Natural Blends Alpaca (bulky)

Needles: US Size 8 dpns

This was such an easy knit. I started it on Saturday night, knit on it for a little while, and spent the bulk of Monday working on it. I finished it right after lunch on Monday. I did not make any alterations to the pattern, and it looks FABULOUS!! Joey loves it. In fact, he showed his approval by making the sound that he's sure a contented alpaca would make (man, I wish you could have heard that).

I've started another one in a different color yarn for myself (it's a smaller yarn and I'm using smaller needles, so I cast on 20 extra stitches).

Kudos to you, Stephanie...this pattern was so easy and totally rocks.