Saturday, October 25, 2008

Has it Been a Week?

Almost. I let too much time go between blogs this week, I think. It was just such a busy week...Monday, we did the gym (I did a whole hour on the recumbant bike!!) and I got a butt cramp. Tuesday night was the monthly meeting of Twisted Sisters, our church's knitting group, Wednesday was choir, and Thursday, band rehearsal. James and Shannon came over again last night and we had a ball!

While it was a good week, I really don't handle being that busy too well. Wednesdays and Thursdays are nonnegotiable, which is fine, but I start feeling stressed when I don't have enough time at home. I kind of hope that's another thing that'll get better as my anxiety problems continue to improve.

I bought three skeins of Bernat Super Value (with improved softness) to make into a sweater. After a rough Wednesday, it was my "retail therapy." I think it's funny just how much of a yarn freak I've become, because I was really upset Wednesday, but once I got into the yarn aisle at AC Moore, I felt better:). I do have to say, though, I'm not going to be able to be one of these knitters who only uses wools and silks, etc. It's just too expensive. Maybe one day when I have enough money to play with, but for right now, I've got to stick with acrylic blends because it's what I can afford. And I'm really not all that shamed of that, honestly. It is what it is.

Monday, I register for one of my classes for the spring. And so it begins...:)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Thoughts? Probably Not.

I wrote a blog, but it sucked. Blah. I must have blogger's block today. Anyway...good weekend. James and Shannon came over Friday night and we had chinese and talked forever which was fantastic:). I love nights like that...good food, good friends, getting to know people better...totally awesome.
We voted yesterday (YAY!!). I love doing my civic duty and I felt pretty proud, and was especially happy when the woman explaining how to use the ballot machine asked me if it was my first time voting. I told her that she was sweet.
Got three knitting books since the early voting place is in the main library. Two are older and one is the new Vogue Knitting book on socks. I'm liking them all...will have to take some snaps and post them for you to see.

Speaking of knitting, I finally had a WIP photo taken:)


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

So Freaking Sore

1. My hips, knees, ankles, everything is incredibly sore from standing for forty-five minutes in high heels. I'm really going to have to start considering the flatter-shoes movement. I don't know that it's worth it to be in such pain.

2. Whiny people, people who don't listen only to Southern Gospel, and people with tattoos and piercings need Jesus too. Not everyone wants to dress in a suit and sing "Give Me That Old Time Religion" while clapping on the on-beat rather than the off-beat, and that's okay. What's most important is that we're reaching people and loving people, not making them feel alienated because they don't fit into a certain paradigm of what "correct worship" is. The day that we starting saying that we don't want a certain kind of person to come to our church is the day that we need to check ourselves.

3. I am totally going to have to swim today at the gym because I'm so sore.

4. We had to postpone the yard sale because of predicted inclement weather. Seriously. I'm getting sick of looking at an office full of crap.

5. I started a basketweave scarf on the bus and it's adorable! Lots of work though. Pics will have to come later.

6. I totally overdid it at Waffle House last night on the way home (but planned for it and didn't eat much the rest of the day), but we had a blast talking to the cook and waitress, and Joey got a genuine Waffle House mug out of it. It was definitely the best Waffle House experience I've ever had.

7. Advice to all who read this: if you have as stellar of a Waffle House experience as we had, you should tip very well...they have to put up with a lot of crap...especially the people who work the graveyard shift (which was when we were there).

8. I really did need a day off from work...even though we're really not doing anything. It's just nice to relax.

9. I am absolutely amazed that I have two subscribers to this blog. I have a good idea of who one of them is, but no idea about the others. I really appreciate that. You guys totally rock:).

10. Joey was supposed to check out Saving Darwin and some other books by Donald Miller for me and forgot. Blah. However, Cory loaned me On Writing by Stephen King, so I'm looking forward to delving into that.

And, so that I don't leave you with another pathetically pictureless blog, Shelli was pretty pissed when we got home at 1:45 in the morning after leaving her at 6:30 am on Tuesday...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Short Blog...

This will probably be short...Joey is reading a section of Thomas Aquinas' writings and then has to do a two page paper, so he'll need his computer back (or, "the good laptop" as we call it since mine is waaay too overloaded with memory and runs almost as fast as solidified honey).

Yesterday shaped up to be a good day despite my feeling pretty morose about Puss all day. I'm not going to post what I wrote about her yet, but I did write something last night that helped me get some of the pain on paper, so I may put it up at some point depending on how transparent I want to be and how much I think it may make my mom cry (and I'm not in the business of doing that at all).

Today, I'm lazing around while he does his paper and studies for a quiz on Tuesday. I love afternoons where we can laze rather than have to run around trying to get things done before our next obligation. Tuesday, our choir is going up to Wake Forest to sing at an evangelism conference at Southeastern, which will be exciting since Joey will be up there for class anyway and his professors will probably be there and I get to sing a solo:). I'm taking Wednesday off, too, because it will be very very late when we get back from the trip.

Wednesday will be spent working on the yard sale, getting more stuff from Mom & Dad's, helping them bring out their stuff, and going through the stuff in our office. I love the thought of getting rid of things that no longer "fit," no longer "match" our lives today. Although there are parts of myself that I do miss a great deal from being younger and carefree, I also know that they would come at a very serious price. My blog-friend (and hopefully real-life friend eventually), Wendee, had her myspace status the other day as being "Grateful for the wisdom that comes with time." I know that I lack a lot of that wisdom, still being only in my twenties and just now feeling like I am actually an adult, but I think I've come to terms at this point that I wouldn't go back and trade the wisdom I have gained for the carefree days of yore.

This didn't end up being as short as I though it would...Joey says that Aquinas isn't something that you can just "breeze through." Well, I'm off to work on another scarf...finished my cowl, which ended up being freaking HUGE, so I don't know how that's going to work out, but pics will come, nonetheless.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wounds That Never Heal

Generally, I feel like I've been able to get past most of the terrible experiences that those of us who weren't athletic and/or beautiful and skinny while in grade school had to endure. This week, though, I encountered an event that proved to me that some things one just can't let go. Some wrongs done by cruel kids scar us far beyond our youth. I felt as though I was right back in middle school, the fat kid with glasses and braces getting picked last for the team and then ridiculed because her softball swing resulted in a foul ball. At least I got up and tried though, and at least I did actually hit the ball.

Anyway, it was just profoundly disappointing to me, not only that I was unable to handle the situation well, but that it seems that those who picked on kids like me also haven't grown past it either. I really can't fathom the rest of my life as a giant pissing contest, just as it was in grade school....make sure that you sit at the "cool" table; don't talk to people who don't "look" right or who seem to be a little strange...don't stand up for oneself or anyone else who needs it for that matter. I can't live that way.

By the time I got to college, I had pretty well come to terms with my personality and sense of humor, and I found tons of people who were the same way, and surprisingly, found that it is possible to be different and get along just fine. I really miss that kind of camaraderie. It's sad to get out in the real world and find out that essentially, things haven't really changed much since high school.

Anyway, sorry to have such a bummed out blog:(. We had an awesome night last night with some friends...although it ended with me putting a temporary tattoo on my neck (it's a skull in a pirate hat), so that'll be fun to try to hide at church tomorrow. Today's a lazy day...we've just got to go out to get a song for me to sing next week.

Things are brewing in the Weaver household...God's starting to show us some things, and I think that's great. I'm also really very excited about starting grad school in January. If nothing else, my unfortunate experience this week solidified my desire to pursue literature and work toward a future there.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Transparency

I have a lot of trouble being in the present moment. I'm either too nostalgic, living in the past and wishing to go back there, feeling guilty for things that went wrong in my life and the lives of those around me, or I'm fretting about the future, worrying about things that either won't happen at all or will inevitably happen, and wishing for some magical date in the future when I'll be the person that I want to be.

I went through some old pictures last night while I was waiting for Joey to get home from school. After my good, obligatory sob-fest looking back over pictures of Puss and Papa and my carefree days in college, I did find two pictures that made me smile. Both are at Planet Hollywood in Myrtle Beach, SC, and I think they were taken in September of 2000, while I was a sophomore in college. The first is of me with Crow from MST3K, which remains to be one of my favorite shows of all time; it remains to be the show that Joey and I watch most frequently (my mom had the foresight to tape them from the Sci Fi Channel when it aired on Saturday mornings).

The second is of me with the Terminator from T2, which is still my favorite movie. I was so excited to be next to that figure of him that was used for the special effects of the film.I didn't have as much trouble being in the present moment back then....I guess it was because I didn't have as much responsibility, as much riding on my ability to handle things and to take care of everyone. I was the one being taken care of by those around me. I know that was probably a selfish place to be, honestly (but natural for someone who is still dependent on his or her parents), but there has to be some way to be able to get there now. I've been feeling overwhelmed lately with everything.

So, I would really like to be able to learn to be in the present moment and not to worry so much about yesterday or tomorrow. Advice is welcome, even if anonymous.